Black Cat Blues
by mabelreid
Summary: Sequel to Catnip.  Emily returns and the team must deal with the fallout.  Reid must also deal with giving Sergio back to his rightful owner.
1. The Prodigal Returns

**_Disclaimer: please see my profile_**

**_A/n hello all... Here's the sequeal to Catnip you all asked for so nicely. There's no Seaver in this story mostly because I don't like her, but also because she'd history Yay. This picks up right after the last chapter of Catnip. I began writing it before the news came out that Paget and AJ are returning so it follows cannon only somewhat and will deal with the teams reaction to her 'resurrection.' Please enjoy_**

**_The Prodigal Returns _**

The first thing Emily noticed when she exited the enclosed walkway from the plane, were all the people. Men with briefcases in one hand and carryon luggage in the other hand buffeted her. She dodged a family of four that looked lost, and nearly ran into a very old Hispanic woman with a walker and a full head of white hair.

The second thing she noticed was a woman with long blond hair and familiar blue eyes standing next to one of the black, fake leather covered chairs in the waiting area. Emily stopped in front of her friend and gave her a tired smile.

"I thought non ticketed persons weren't allowed past security."

"You'd be surprised the places a DOD ID get you these days."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see you standing here, but I am."

JJ reached for Emily's carryon bag. "Here, let me help you with that."

Emily didn't try to stop her because JJ's tone was irritated rather than welcoming.

"Why are you angry?"

"You were supposed to stay out of sight. Have you lost your mind?"

Emily glanced sidelong at her friend as they dodged more passengers that hurried past them in the opposite direction.

"I'm surprised you don't know. I thought the DOD and Homeland Security had eyes everywhere." She joked in the manner of a paranoid conspiracy theorist.

"Let's not talk about this here."

"Wow… You really _are_ turning paranoid."

JJ favored her with a scowl to rival that of Hotch on his best day. Emily decided to shut up until they gathered her bags at the claim and made their way out to JJ's car.

"Okay…" JJ said as she strapped on her seat belt. "I have a flag on your Ids… I was alerted and so was my boss when you bought your ticket in Paris. What's going on?"

"I got Doyle and all what's left of his compatriots. Didn't you hear about the explosion at his Estate?"

"That was you." JJ's eyebrows winged into her bangs.

"Yeah… I still have good connections. I'm sure your boss told you there's nothing left of ten men and that big house. It was nearly vaporized."

JJ pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road that circled the parking lot to the exit and the freeway. "How do you know he's dead this time? You didn't leave anything behind. The bodies are charred bone and ash. We can't even do a DNA test."

"You don't have to use that tone with me JJ. You can tell your boss that he was in there. I followed him there. A friend of mine had eyes on the place when I pushed the button on the detonator from a very safe distance. He's dead and Declan is safe. That's all I care about."

JJ pulled onto the freeway, sliding into traffic as smoothly as shears cut through silk. She didn't say anything for a long time. "Why did you come back Emily?"

"How can you ask me that? You're my friends, my family, I miss you."

"So you're just going to walk right back into your old life. They all think you're dead."

"That wasn't my idea." Emily spat out. "As I recall, faking my death was your idea. I didn't want to go there again. You talked me into it. You said Hotch was all for it too, that it would keep everyone safe."

"Don't you remember that's what you wanted all along? That's why you didn't tell us about Doyle in the first place." JJ stomped on the brake when a large man with a beard, and a leather jacket buzzed by her on a motorcycle.

"Don't turn my words against me. I was right. If I'd told you all about Doyle from the beginning, he would've picked you off one by one. I couldn't let that happen."

JJ glanced over at her friend who stared out the window at the passing traffic. "You should've let us make that decision on our own. We're adults Em."

"You have a child JJ. Hotch has a son. Reid has his mother. Morgan has his mother and sisters. Garcia has Kevin and Rossi - well he has someone I'm sure. I couldn't let them lose any of you."

"It wasn't your decision to make." JJ insisted as she maneuvered the car into the far right hand lane and accelerated.

"I'm not going to apologize. If that's what you're looking for you can let me out and I'll get a cab."

JJ finally gave her a rueful smile. "I'm not looking for an apology Emily. I just want you safe and alive for everyone's sake. Nice going, by the way, with the bombs in Doyle's place. How did you know he'd go back there?"

"The same way the French government, Interpol and the DOD knew he would." She smirked at JJ. "The estate's been empty for years, owned by a corporation you can only trace with the talents of someone like Garcia. Unfortunately, my hacker wasn't as good as Garcia. It took him twice as long as I thought to find that Doyle still owned the place through his old friends and series of corporate blinds. Even Interpol couldn't find the real owner."

"I admit I'm impressed. You executed a well thought out plan with military precision." JJ exited the freeway behind a large, white panel truck and stopped at the red light.

"Thanks… That means a lot coming from you."

JJ turned right and headed east.

"Where are you taking me?" Emily asked.

"I'm taking you home with me. You can't go back to your place."

Emily was silent for a long time as they passed large homes, with huge shade trees that cast long, sinuous shadows over green lawns and colorful flowerbeds. It was something she never thought she'd see again. Her heart should've been rejoicing at her return.

"Emily… Are you alright?"

"I was just thinking."

"You sound like Reid." JJ said with a grin.

Emily didn't smile. "How are they?" She asked.

Maybe talking about her family would get her mind off the fact that she had no idea what was going to happen when she tried to pick up her life.

JJ made a left hand turn, drove for three blocks in silence then pulled into the driveway of her large, red brick house. "Why don't we get you situated in my guest room and then I'll tell you all about them.

CMCMCM

Reid pulled off the tie he'd worn to Ms Strong's funeral and tossed it into the clothes hamper. He sat down on the edge of his bed and frowned. The day seemed like a dream in some ways. He didn't like the similarity of Marion Strong's funeral and the graveside service they'd had for Emily. It was as if history repeated itself in some macabre way.

He slipped off his dress shirt, kicked off his shoes and swung his legs around so he lay flat on his bed. It creaked softly as he tried to arrange his limbs in a more comfortable way. He flipped over on his side and then back to his left side and then to his stomach. He couldn't breathe face down on the pillow though_. How did people sleep on their stomachs?_ He knew sleeping on your back was bad for said back. It was better to sleep on one side, but not the left side because he'd heard it wore out the heart faster, even though there was no scientific proof.

_Stop thinking about the right way to sleep._

It was the middle of the afternoon anyway. If he went to sleep, it would interrupt his sleep cycle, which the books said not to do if you wanted to sleep well at night. They said to take ten-minute naps to boost energy in the afternoon, but he knew if he fell asleep, that he'd never wake up.

He sighed and turned to his right side again where he didn't have to see the sunlight and blue sky out the window. If he didn't see it, he wouldn't have to worry about Violet and how she was doing with Garcia. He wouldn't have to think about the strange way Sergio behaved at the graveyard.

God, how he hated the word graveyard… It was such a hard and unyielding word. Cemetery wasn't any better either. It came from the Greek word koimētērion, which meant dormitory, or put to sleep. It was morbid, to think of such a place as a dormitory. He shivered at the thought and closed his eyes.

At that moment, Sergio leapt onto the bed, shifting it a little when he landed. Reid let out a startled cry and turned over to see the cat staring at him with his bright green eyes.

"You scared the hell out of me Sergio. What are you doing?" He squeaked.

The cat crawled silently onto his abdomen and lay there observing him like Reid must know something important.

"I don't understand you. Why did you run away like that in the cemetery?"

Sergio licked Reid's fingers.

"I wish you could talk sometimes."

Sergio meowed.

"Very funny… I'm serious."

Sergio just stared at him as Reid scratched his neck.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were some kind of magical creature that knows the mysteries of the universe."

Sergio began to purr, loudly.

"I'm going crazy and talking seriously to a cat."

Sergio just stared at him as if he agreed that Reid might be losing his mind.

"Alright… I'm going to ask it even if I think its nuts."

Sergio twisted his next head under Reid's scratching fingers.

"Did you run away from Emily's grave because you know she's not there?"

Sergio opened his green eyes, twitched his tail and purred.


	2. Can You go Home Again?

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks to everyone for their support of the new story. You're all the best. Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy._**

**_Can You go Home again?_**

JJ brought Emily a cup of her favorite raspberry tea with a little honey. She took one of the twin leather easy chairs across from the matching couch and waited.

"You've got a very understanding husband." Emily said after taking a sip of her hot treat.

"Will's the greatest. I don't know what I'd do without him."

She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. The cobalt blue leather of the chair matched her eyes Emily noticed. _Interesting__…_

"Hotch is on his way here." JJ said.

"I figured you'd call him first."

JJ nodded. "I decided that we need to get together and decide what to do with you."

Emily smiled for the first time in weeks at this pronouncement from her close friend. "You make it sound like you're my mom and dad and your trying to decide what boarding school to send me too for the duration."

JJ didn't smile. She uncrossed her nylon-clad legs and kicked off the black heels she wore with her black suit.

"You're supposed to be dead Emily. You can't just walk back into the BAU. We have to figure out how to tell the rest of the team and your family."

"I'm not worried about my parents." Emily said, although her heart began to race at the thought of confronting her friends with her - return to life - so to speak.

"I can see you're not comfortable with the idea of announcing your return to the land of the living."

Emily picked up her cup of tea and took another sip. The liquid had cooled a bit and it tasted good on her tongue but it didn't comfort her.

"I know I can't just pick up where I left off JJ, but I don't know what else to do."

"Why don't we wait for Hotch? I think he'll have a few ideas on the subject."

Emily smirked at her friend. "I'm sure he will."

They sat in silence for a minute as Emily took in the familiar surroundings of her friend's home. She never expected to see the simple oak furnishings, the glass topped coffee table and Henry's toys scattered around the living area.

"Where's Henry?"

"Will took him to the park, they should be home soon. He misses seeing you. I think he'll be the easiest one for you to get reacquainted with, because he's too young to know the meaning of death. He just thinks Aunt Emily went away for a long trip."

Emily blinked back sudden tears. "I really missed him. Even though it's only been a few weeks, it seemed like a lifetime."

JJ suddenly got the look Emily recognized from when she'd had to deal with an especially tough LEO or the press. "I just want to say one thing and then we'll leave it alone. I'm glad you got the son of a bitch. You made him pay for all of our suffering for the last few months. If I could have pushed the button…"

Emily reached out and clenched JJ's hand. "I'm glad you don't have that on your conscience, not that I regret it, because I had to be as ruthless as Doyle was to take him down. He knew it and it that way, he won."

"He didn't win Emily."

Emily withdrew her hand and sat back. "He did JJ. He forced me to lie to my family. I feel almost as bad about that as I do about having to kill him and his cronies."

"You did what you had to do Emily. Why are you castigating yourself over it?"

"I don't want to talk about it." After a long and awkward silence, Emily said. "So… How are they doing?"

JJ put aside her empty teacup. "They're okay. It's still very raw for them. The good news is that Strauss is on leave. She won't be able to make your life hell for this for a few months."

"Really… What happened?" Emily set aside her cup and sat back to hear the tale.

"I don't know… Hotch said she just asked him to take over for her for a few months. You know him, he doesn't gossip."

Emily smirked. "No, Hotch is the least likely person to gossip.

"He's got a lot on his plate, but he makes a real effort to get home at a decent hour when we're not on a case. He's happier and so is Jack."

"Oh… I miss seeing Jack too."

JJ smiled widely. "Hotch and Rossi are coaching Jack's soccer team. I went to their last game. It was so cute."

"Rossi and Hotch were cute." Emily asked raising her eyebrows at this news.

JJ reached over and smacked her friends arm as she reached for her tea again. "You know what I mean. Jack was the cute one. He's really improved. Henry wants to play after seeing Jack at his last game."

Emily giggled and choked on her tea. "You should have seen that one coming."

"I did, but Will wants Henry to play football. I told him Henry should play a sport that interests him."

"I'll bet that went over well."

JJ took her empty cup, picked up Emily's cup and saucer and stacked them on her porcelain-serving tray. "He'll get over it. He knows I'm right."

"Aren't women always right in a marriage." Emily teased.

"We'll leave that discussion for another day. Give me a minute to get this cleared away and we'll talk." JJ carried the tray through the arched doorway of the living room and out of sight.

Emily amused herself by getting up and perusing several framed photos of Will, Henry and JJ placed around the room on shelves. On the bookshelves, she found mixed in with books a few pictures of the team.

One of them was a grouping of the team taken before JJ had left. The FBI had competed in a baseball tournament in with Virginia PD. All of them wore uniforms in navy blue and with navy blue caps with FBI emblazoned in gold above the brims.

She touched each of their faces in turn, remembering the last game and how they'd lost to Virginia PD. It was okay because all of them were there together on that brilliant summer day.

Garcia stood next to Morgan who'd slung an arm across her shoulders. It was funny that just at that moment, she saw Garcia looking sideways at her chocolate God in a way she'd never looked at Kevin Lynch. Morgan didn't look directly at Garcia, but he had a contented look he always got when she was anywhere near him. When would they stop playing around and admit they loved each other?

Emily slid a finger over to Hotch who stood next to Rossi. The two of them were actually smiling. It was nice to see how a smile changed Hotch's face. He was happy rather than bowed down by the weight of the world. If only that contentment could be seen every day. She smiled and shook her head because it just wasn't like Hotch to let his guard down and show the side of him he saved for Jack and for those odd moments of life that meant something more than death and blood.

Rossi smiled, but had the look she remembered that was like the whole thing was one big joke. He'd refused to play until Garcia threatened to wipe his last book out of existence. As he'd recently overcome months of writers' block and had put out three chapters in two weeks, he didn't push his luck.

JJ knelt in the front with her and Reid on either side like book ends. Her blond hair was pulled back though the gap in the back of her cap and she had her left hand in Reid's hair, tousling it so that the short waves stood up wildly. It was her favorite method of getting a rise out of her "Spence."

Reid held his cap in one hand. She remembered that he didn't like to wear it. He said that geeks, who wore baseball caps, looked pathetically like they were trying too hard. She remembered smacking his head and giving him one of her mother's patented looks of irritation.

She let her finger linger on his face as everything she suppressed rushed in like flood waters through open floodgates. Was he okay? Was he still having those terrible headaches? Was he angry with her? Did it matter? Yes, because down inside in her heart of hearts, he was the one that she'd missed so much it hurt. It was a mistake for her to be there. She should have stayed in Paris, or flown to Italy, or anywhere other than Virginia. Her friends believed her dead. Shouldn't she stay that way for their sakes? Wasn't it selfish to walk back into their lives and shake them up just when they were beginning to heal?

She turned around and grabbed her bag and purse. She'd go say goodbye to JJ and call a cab. JJ would understand. She took three steps to the front door when the bell rang. She froze like a deer in headlights.

JJ breezed back into the room calling out. "I'm coming."

She opened the door to Hotch. He greeted JJ and she swung open the door to let him in. Emily just stood there, rooted to the spot as though frozen in place.

"So…" Hotch said as JJ turned to face her, the smile on her face freezing as she saw the intent on Emily's face, "Trying to run away?"


	3. Tossing and Turning

**_Disclaimer: See my profile_**

**_A/n once again... Thank you all for your support and comments. Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy._**

**_Tossing and Turning_**

"Hotch… It's good to see you again."

Her boss entered the living room and sat down. The scowl on his face didn't help her judge his mood. If he'd learn to smile occasionally, she thought as she stood there with her bag. Then she'd have a chance at judging his moods.

"Hello Emily."

JJ took the same chair she'd used and looked up at Emily.

"Why don't you sit down?" Hotch offered.

Emily put down her bag and took the other end of the couch, as far from Hotch as she could get.

The silence dragged out until Emily broke. "You don't have to play intimidation with me Hotch. Technically I'm dead and you're not my boss anymore."

"I may not be your boss Emily, but I am still Unit Chief. You know you can't just walk back into the BAU.

"JJ already told me that." Emily said, turning to face her boss. "You don't have to remind me." She gestured, including them both. "I know I have to take things slowly."

Hotch sighed. "JJ and Will have agreed to let you stay with them until you find another place to live."

"I know… She told me on the way over from the airport."

Silence reigned again as the three of them stared at each other. Emily found herself fidgeting under the gaze of her former boss. She sighed and spoke again. "What aren't you telling me Hotch?"

He didn't flinch at her irritated tone. "I don't know how to deal with this. I'll be honest in saying that I wish you'd stayed in Europe."

Her heart sank into her shoes. "Thanks Aaron."

His eyes blazed. "I mean it Prentiss. You came to this team without making full disclosure of your activities and put us in grave danger."

"I worked for Interpol." She said between clenched teeth as her hands began to shake with anger. She clenched them together so he wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing he'd gotten to her. "You knew that when I came to the team. You were fine with it. As for the details, it was national security. I couldn't tell you anything."

Hotch's eyes didn't flicker. "I understand the meaning of national security. I just don't understand why you withheld information from us in an ongoing investigation. You knew long before we did that Ian Doyle was behind those deaths. You should've spoken up. We could have protected you."

Emily got to her feet and walked to the bookcase with JJ's photos. She kept her back to JJ and Hotch as she spoke. "He would have killed you one by one if I didn't play it his way. I couldn't take the chance Hotch. Why can't you understand that?"

She didn't hear Hotch leave his seat. She jumped when he put a hand on her shoulder. "I can't work with someone that doesn't trust me or my team."

She pushed his hand away. "It wasn't a matter of trust Hotch."

He lost the hard look in his eyes. "Your objectivity was compromised Emily. You should have come to me the minute you suspected Ian Doyle was involved."

"You're never going to get me to admit I was wrong in this Hotch. He nearly killed me. You used it fake my death because down inside, you _knew_ I was right."

"Guys… Henry and Will are on their way back here. I don't want them walking into a war." JJ interrupted.

"JJ's right." Hotch stood up. "I don't want you coming into the office until I've had a chance to talk to the rest of the team. However, the Director wants to see you. I told him you'd come down to the Hoover building the day after tomorrow. That is, if you want to be reinstated. It's going to take most of the day tomorrow to get started on getting your life back."

"Hotch is right," JJ said. "The FBI and DOD can 'resurrect' you as it were, but dealing with the banks and doctors is another thing. I took off tomorrow to get you started."

"Can't that wait? I want to see the team."

"No!" Hotch refused.

The front door opened just as Emily was about to speak on his flat our refusal. "I'll call you in the morning."

* * *

><p>Emily took a red ceramic mug from the JJ's kitchen cabinet and added some milk. She slipped it into the microwave and watched it revolve around as it heated. The clock on the microwave proclaimed it the ungodly hour of just after one am. She'd given up trying to sleep after tossing and turning for two hours. Perhaps the milk would help, she thought as the microwave beeped.<p>

"You okay?"

She jumped and turned to see JJ in the doorway. Her blond hair was tousled from sleep and there was a red mark on the left side of her face.

"Hey JJ… I'm sorry if I woke you."

JJ smiled. "It's okay. I got up to go to the bathroom. My bladder's tiny since I had Henry."

Emily gave her a wan smile. "I can't sleep."

"Here," JJ opened another cabinet and reached for a small container. "Here's some cinnamon for your milk if you like."

Emily took the shaker and added some of the spice to her milk. She sipped and managed another smile. "I didn't think it would be so hard."

JJ put an arm around her friend. "I know Hotch was hard on you."

"He was right. I mean, what was I thinking?" She pulled away from JJ and went to the kitchen table. "I must have been _crazy_ to think I could come back here."

"Emily -"

"Don't try to make me feel better. I should've stayed in Europe as Hotch said. He's right, JJ and you know it."

"I don't know any such thing." JJ took a chair across from her friend. "You asked me how the team is doing. Rossi has pretty much buried himself in his next book when he isn't working. Hotch doesn't talk about you at all, except to do the team's evaluations. He's even more committed to spending time with Jack outside of work. It's like losing you and Haley pushed something in him he can't turn off now and doesn't want to turn off. Garcia lives for her computers and counseling. She still acts with her theater group, but not like before you left. Now she's got a foster child, which is helping her cope. Morgan's still very angry. He thinks he he'd gotten to you even one minute sooner -"

"It wasn't his fault. He was the one that kept me tied to life when I thought I couldn't make it." Emily interrupted. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You said you wanted to know how everyone is doing. I'm just telling you that they're - I mean _we're_ suffering. I knew you were alive and I feel like I've betrayed them. Our family thinks you're dead because of Hotch and me. Now, you're going to deal with coming back here because you owe it to me, to Hotch and to them."

Emily observed her friend taking in her angry bright eyes and her accelerated breathing. "I'm sorry."

JJ sighed and stared at the mug Emily hadn't touched since sitting down. "I know you are sweetie. I just wish you didn't have to go through this."

"Hotch was right tonight," Emily said softly. "I didn't want to admit it, because that meant that I'd screwed up. I should have told you about Ian Doyle and let you help me."

JJ reached over and patted her arm. "It's over now. We just need to find away to introduce you back into their lives."

"You didn't say how Reid is doing." Emily said.

"He's doing alright. He was very upset when I told them we'd lost you. He cried in my arms. He really misses you. In fact, he and Garcia took charge of your cat Sergio."

Emily had picked up her cooling milk and taken a sip. She choked as JJ explained to her how Reid had been the one to remember the cat and decide to take care of him.

"I'm sorry - I just don't see Reid with Sergio."

"Neither did we," JJ admitted through her laughter. "It was touch and go for awhile, but they get along just fine now."

"This I have to see." Emily enthused.

"I hope you'll be able to."

"I miss that cat." Emily admitted. "I only had him for a couple of months but it was nice to have someone to come home to at the end of the day."

"I know it's not the same, but having Will and Henry here is the best. It's nice not to live alone."

Emily smiled, and then something that JJ said niggled in her head. "Wait… You said that Garcia has a foster kid. When did this happen?"

JJ smirked. "That's a much longer story that will have to wait until morning." She yawned.

"Alright… But I want all the details in the morning."

* * *

><p>Reid closed the book and looked at the clock. It was after one in the morning. He blinked his eyes, which burned with fatigue, but he couldn't get to sleep, even on the couch. He sat up and stretched. Sergio slept near the door where he'd stayed for hours that day, refusing to come near Reid. He sighed and wondered what was going on with the cat. He thought about going to pick up the cat and taking it to his bedroom, but Sergio wouldn't like that. He shut off the light instead and made his way to the bathroom. He had to work in the morning and needed to get some sleep.<p>

He'd just slipped into bed when Sergio appeared from nowhere and jumped up on the bed. "Hey… I see your talking to me again."

The cat snuggled up next to him and stared at him from eyes gone dark with the coming of the night.

"She's not going to come back Sergio. We have to accept it and go on with our lives."

The cat didn't move except to stretch out his front paws and then settle again.

"I wish she'd come back Sergio. I wish I had another chance to tell her how I feel." He said. "Do you think she knows?"

Sergio only stared at him.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

He reached up and turned off the lights. In the dark, he reached out to pet the cat, but the warmth of the feline's body and the sound of the cat's purring didn't do anything to sooth the ache in his heart. He sighed and turned over on his back. _If only he had a second chance… _


	4. Changes and Routines

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all here's the next chapter. Also, I want to thank all who have reviewed, especially those I may have missed. I hate the new reply system! Who idea was that?_**

**_Changes and Routine _**

JJ entered her living room to see Emily sitting on the floor, wearing jeans that were old and faded, with a dark red tee shirt. She was playing quietly with Henry. JJ smiled to see them in the middle of building something with Henry's blocks.

"Why don't you put that one there, and I'll put this one over here." Emily was saying.

Henry looked at the yellow plastic block in his hands, and then he reached out and knocked the teetering tower over on its side.

Emily laughed. "Okay… You do what you want. Your uncle Spencer said that kids your age have a limited attention span."

Henry dropped another block on the pile and turned his interest to a pile of dinosaur toys Emily knew came from Reid on Henry's birthday. He chose the Triceratops and stretched out his hand to Emily. "Em… tops."

"Thank you Henry… Is this your favorite?"

Henry shook his head "Pence like…" There seemed to be a question in Henry's eyes that made JJ wonder just what could be going on in her little man's head.

"Oh."

JJ could see the wheels turning in Emily's head. Her friend was utterly silent, and as still as a statue for a long minute.

"Spence loves that one the best. I can't get him to tell me why." JJ said, breaking the silence into a thousand brittle shards like a shattered mirror.

"Mama I play wif Em…" Henry hurried over with a book full of characters from the latest Disney animated film when JJ came over to the couch.

"Hey baby…" JJ lifted him up into her lap as Emily got to her feet with the dinosaur in her hands.

"Does he come here a lot?" Emily asked as she joined JJ on the sofa."

"As often as he can. Henry loves him so much. I think Henry and Sergio have saved him from losing himself while you've been gone."

Emily still fingered the dinosaur in a way that suggested to JJ that she didn't know she was doing it. "I don't know what you want me to say JJ."

"I don't want you to say anything. You were the one that wanted details on the team. Reid has taken your death very hard. I know it's not your fault, at least not entirely. Hotch and I am responsible too."

"Why are you telling me this?"

JJ sighed and pushed her hand through her long, blond hair. "Are you sure you want to do this? You can just walk away. The rest of the team thinks your dead, and as much as I'll miss you -"

Emily dropped the toy dinosaur to the floor. "No… I spent all night with my doubts. Do you know what I decided?"

JJ shook her head as she turned pages for Henry who was still looking at his book. "I don't know Emily."

"I decided that I have to resume my life. However, the rest of the team and my parents decide to react to my return to life, I'll deal with it. I deserve it if they all turn their backs on me. You and Hotch are right… I should have told you about Doyle. I didn't trust you and for that, I'm sorry."

JJ let Henry down on the floor when the boy got restless again. The toddler hurried over to his box of toys and pulled out a toy dump truck. He began to run it around the floor making little engine noises that made JJ grin.

"I've already forgiven you. You're one of my best friends. I'm just glad to have you back."

Henry left his dump truck on the floor and toddled over to Emily. He reached up his arms and she pulled him into his lap. "I'm so happy to see you again." She exclaimed. "You're such a cutie." She stroked her fingers though is light blond hair.

"He's amazing." JJ said.

"Yes he is," Will entered the room dressed in jeans and a dark green polo shirt.

"Hi Will… Thanks again for letting me stay with you guys."

He smiled and took his son who reached out for him. "I'm glad you're okay for JJ's sake."

JJ favored him with such a warm look that Emily's heart sang and hurt at the same time. _If only…_

"So what's on the agenda?" Will asked as Henry handed him a toy car.

"We're going to get started bringing Emily back to life. You wouldn't believe how much paperwork is involved."

"That's a pleasant thought." Emily groaned.

"Luckily for you I put most of it together for you when we hatched this scheme."

Emily grinned at her and climbed to her feet. "Then how about a cup of coffee and we get started.

Will put Henry down on the floor, "I'll drink to that," He enthused.

* * *

><p>Reid decided on cereal for breakfast. If he didn't hurry, he was going to be late. His alarm hadn't gone off because he'd forgot to turn it on. He pulled a box of his favorite cereal, Coco Puffs, from the counter and grabbed his bowl.<p>

Sergio ran into the kitchen and meowed loudly. He hurried to his bowl and stood over it swishing his tail impatiently.

"Why do I have to feed you before I can eat?" Reid asked.

Sergio only stared at him out of his bright green eyes.

Reid sighed and went to get Sergio's cat food bag from under the sink. Sergio tried to get his head into the bag as Reid poured it out. "If you'd just wait I could get your food into the bowl so you can eat it." Reid scolded.

Sergio looked up and hissed at him.

"You don't scare me with that hiss anymore." Reid informed him, as he was finally able to get the food in the bowl. "Now may I have my breakfast, your highness?"

Sergio ignored him for his cat food. Reid shook his head and went to the sink to wash his hands.

Reid finished his breakfast and cleanup in record time. He grabbed his messenger bag and go bag, and his insulated coffee cup. "Be good." He called to Sergio.

The cat didn't appear, so Reid grabbed his keys and left. If he didn't hurry, he'd miss the briefing and have to explain his behavior to Hotch. Better to leave the cat without the goodbye pat the cat had trained him into giving before he left, then deal with an irritated Unit Chief. He had to pick his battles, after all.

* * *

><p>Garcia scrolled down her to do list. Morgan laughed at her for putting her grocery list on her I pod, but she just ignored him. It was convenient and it fit in her pocket, which was a huge plus.<p>

That day she made a list of things to do before she and Violet could move. Since she was renting the house rather then buying it, it was a matter of breaking the lease at the apartment and signing a new lease. She picked up her cell and hit a newly programmed speed dial. Their nine am briefing was less than five minutes away, but she needed to make a quick phone call.

"_Hello?"_

"Hi Violet. How are you?"

"_You don't have to call me five times a day." _

Hey… I'm your foster mom now. I worry about you kiddo."

"_I guess I'm not used to it." _

Her voice broke on the last word. Tears rushed into Garcia's eyes for a sweet girl that didn't deserve the mother she'd had.

"Well get used to it because it's not going to change. Anyway… I didn't call to check up on you. I need you to do something for me after school."

"_Sure…" _

"My friend Maggie's going to pick you up. I need more boxes for the move. She's going to take you to Wal-Mart. Pick up at least fifteen more cardboard moving boxes and we need some milk and bread.

"_Now I know why you decided to be my foster mom. You wanted a slave." _

Garcia smiled at the smartass tone in Violet's voice that was better than the tears that had been there.

"That's true… Now don't forget."

"_I won't…" _

Garcia could almost see Violet rolling her eyes.

"Thank you sunshine."

"_You're welcome. See ya later." _

Garcia punched the end button on her phone and smiled. Violet was beginning to heal. It would take some time, but she was going to be okay.

A knock on her office door brought her back to earth. "Come in."

"Garcia…"

She turned in her chair at the Hotch's voice. "Yes sir?"

"Are you ready for the briefing?"

"Yes sir. I just needed to speak to Violet for a minute."

He gave her a rare smile. "How is she?"

"She's doing better. Her first day back at school is today and I know she was looking forward to it."

"You could have taken the day." He said as they left the office.

"It's okay boss. We're just busy with the move."

"Please let me know the day and I'll be there."

"Sir you don't have to do that."

"I want to help. It's nice to spend time with the team away from all of this." He said in a rare burst of insight.

"Yes it is." She agreed.

"Let's get to work." His mask that she had learned was his protection snapped back into place.

"Yes sir."


	5. Food and Friends

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n many many thanks to all my loyal readers. You're all the best. Here's the next chapter for your approval. Please enjoy._**

**_ Food and Friends_**

Violet put down the drinking glass she'd been wrapping in protective newspaper and hurried over to the door at the summons of a knock.

"Hi Dr Reid…"

"Hi Violet. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. The doctor said my surgical incision is healed. I'm supposed to go back to school Monday."

He entered and shut the door. "Yes… Garcia told me - wow you guys have been busy."

He looked around the normally neat, if colorful, apartment with wide eyes. There were cardboard boxes of different sizes packed and stacked around the living area. Some were standing open, while others were taped shut. There were other boxes, still lying flat and stacked in one corner. The knick-knacks that showed so much of Garcia's colorful personality, as well as her Super 8 projector were gone. He found he didn't like to see her apartment this way. It was as though she packed away part of her personality. It wasn't right.

"Hey Dr. Reid."

Violet was waving a hand in front of his eyes.

"What?"

"You were staring into space like a spaz. Are you okay?"

"Um… Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired."

She didn't look like she believed him. Her black hair, standing up in its usual spikes seemed to bristle disapprovingly at him. Her light blue eyes pinned him with a searching stare that made him clear his throat.

"So… How was school?"

"Way to change the subject Doc."

"I just wanted to know how you're doing at school." He squeaked.

She stood with her hands fisted on her hips. "Fine… If you want to play that game its fine with me."

She went to the sofa and sat down. Sergio appeared out of nowhere and jumped up into her lap. He peered up over the back of the couch at Reid with the same disapproval in his eyes that Violet had shown._ Did they get together and plan it?_

"School is fine…" She said.

Something in her tone had him taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch. She glanced over at him, her light eyes full of something he remembered from his mirror during his days lost in addiction. She was too young to look like that.

"So what happened?" He asked bluntly.

"Nothing… I don't want to talk about it." She petted Sergio and stared at the coffee table littered with newspaper, tape, a pair of scissors and bubble wrap.

"It helps to talk." He continued. "Studies have shown that talking about your problems helps to focus -"

"No offense doc, but I don't want to hear about what studies have shown."

"Hey…"

He looked up to see that Garcia entered the room. "I didn't know you were back sweet cheeks. I was in the bathroom sorting out what we can pack. The move to the house is happening much faster than I intended."

She stopped and looked at both of them and Sergio who was purring in Violet's arms. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Violet insisted.

"Reid?"

"She's right… What can I do to help?" Reid asked.

Garcia looked from one to the other, but she didn't try to pry out of them what had been going on. "You don't have to do anything Reid. We aren't moving for a couple of days and I know you're tired from this last case."

"I'm here," He insisted. "I want to help."

"As long as you let me feed you dinner."

"You don't have to do that Garcia. I can -"

She shook a finger at him. "I'm not letting you stop for take out again. You need a home cooked meal."

"Better not argue with her." Violet said her tone neutral. "It doesn't do any good."

"She barely knows you and she advises me not to argue with you." Reid observed with some awe.

Garcia grinned at him. "She's a smart kid."

"I'm not a kid." Violet argued.

Sergio turned his head to look at Garcia and Reid his bright green eyes boring into both of them as thought in agreement with his friend.

"Right, I forgot." Garcia said. "You're a young woman."

Violet didn't smile. She looked at the floor instead, stroking the top of Sergio's head. Garcia shrugged her shoulders at Reid. "Since you're a young woman, why don't you make your famous goat cheese omelets? There easy and they don't make a big mess."

Violet's eyes lit up for the first time since Reid had entered the apartment, "Really?"

"Yes. She loves to cook." Garcia told Reid proudly. "She's great at it, much better than I am."

"My mother hated to cook, so if I wanted to eat something halfway decent, I had to learn to cook." Violet explained in a matter of fact tone that made Reid wince. "Don't cry for me Argentina," She needled. "I like cooking. There's something soothing about it."

"I'm not crying." He squeaked.

He had been thinking that he was glad he never met her mother because he'd decided he didn't like her very much.

"You were looking at me like I stepped on Sergio."

Garcia laughed aloud.

"Don't I get any support from you?" He asked his best friend.

"No, you're on your own."

"Thank you very much."

Garcia, Violet and even Sergio seemed to be smirking at him. He frowned and picked up the tape dispenser on the coffee table. The girls went to the kitchen, which was a relief for him. Sergio, leapt on the couch, hurried into Reid's lap with a meow and a yawn.

"Hey… good to see you Sergio."

His fingers scratched the cat's neck. Sergio began purring like a little steam engine, which started the process of soothing Reid's heart and mind from the case. In the short time Sergio had lived with him, he'd come to depend on having the cat there when he got home. He couldn't imagine coming home to an empty apartment now. It would be too depressing.

Dinner was ready much quicker than he expected. They ate it sitting on the floor around the cleared off coffee table. Not only did they have omelets that tasted better than anything he ever cooked for himself, but also there was a green salad with some kind of dressing made with lemon and garlic that Violet called vinaigrette. He didn't know what it was, but it was good.

Sergio tried begging for food, but Garcia shooed him away with a success that made Reid frown. How was it that Garcia could get the cat to behave when the cat didn't live with her full time? Perhaps it was part of the Reid effect.

"Why are you frowning over there?' Garcia asked.

"I'm not frowning."

"Yes you are." Violet agreed.

"Sergio minds you but he won't mind me. It's the Reid effect." Reid blurted out.

Garcia sniggered and Violet laughed. "I'm sure that's not true, sweet cheeks."

"Yes it is."

"Finish your dinner," Garcia ordered. "Then you and Sergio are going home."

"I want to -"

"You're going home." Garcia ordered. "You're exhausted and the case was brutal. Go home and get some sleep. We don't need you to help tonight."

He pushed the last of his salad into his mouth and chewed as he thought of some way to argue.

"I know what you're thinking. I can see the wheels turning in your head."

He decided to look at the carpet instead of at Garcia because she watched him with knowing eyes. He couldn't get anything past her.

"Okay… I'll go home. Are you happy now?"

"Yes… I'm very happy."

"I'm glad." He said sarcastically.

Garcia reached over and patted his hand. "Finish your dinner and go get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

CMCMCM

Violet sat on the couch, her back against a pillow propped up on one of the arms. Her legs were up on the couch, holding her laptop in place as she worked on some unseen project. Garcia stood smiling at the teen that seemed to be healing from her mother's loss.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Violet shut her laptop and looked up with pink cheeks. "Oh, um I forgot about a paper I have to write for Biology. It's due tomorrow."

"Well don't stay up too late. Can I help?" Garcia said, coming over to sit on the edge of the couch.

"No! I mean, it's not that big of a deal. I'm almost finished."

"Okay." Garcia patted her leg. "Try to get some sleep. I know tomorrow's Friday, and half a day for you, but you need your rest."

"I will. Um, Penelope, what did Dr Reid mean about the Reid effect?"

Garcia smiled widely. She turned and pulled her legs up on the couch. "When Dr. Reid was new at the BAU, the team noticed that kids and animals reacted badly to him, so Hotch started calling it the Reid effect."

"Oh, well why don't kids and animals like him? He's very nice."

"I don't know. Maybe they sense that he's shy and kind of nervous."

"We learned in biology that some animals notice stuff like pheromones. Is it like that?"

Garcia shifted. "I guess you could say that. I really don't know. Why?"

"I'm just curious."

Garcia leaned over and kissed Violet on her cheek. "You have your dream journal handy. Dr. Stevenson said writing about your dreams is important."

"Yeah, I got it right there."

Violet pointed to the red covered notebook on the coffee table.

"Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight Penelope."

After Garcia went back to her room, Violet opened her laptop and went back to the poem she'd been trying to write about Dr. Spencer Reid's eyes.


	6. Secrets Kept, Secrets Revealed Part 1

**_Disclaimer: See m profile_**

**_A/n hey all... Thanks again to all my kind readers. Please enjoy the next chapter. _**

**_Secrets Kept, Secrets Revealed Part 1_**

Garcia opened her front door two days later, to find Reid there with a cardboard tray and several hot cups of fragrant and welcome coffee.

"Hey sweet cheeks," she breathed in the smell of the freshly brewed ambrosia and sighed. "Thank God for genii with coffee fetishes."

Her best friend went crimson as she shut the door behind him. "I don't have a coffee fetish." He protested. "A fetish is a something that arouses sexual excitement in someone; it's usually an inanimate object or a part of the body."

"Don't quote from the dictionary at me, oh super intelligent one. The dictionary also defines the word as an object, idea or activity that someone is irrationally attached or obsessed with, end quote."

"Coffee isn't an object, idea or activity." He objected as he tried to find a clear spot on the counter tops crowded with packed boxes.

"The drinking of coffee is an activity." Garcia informed him.

"Hey… What's going on?"

Violet entered the living area dressed in a very old pair of jeans that were torn so that a large hole revealed a partial view of her lower right thigh in the front. Her tee shirt was light yellow and just as ragged.

"I told you those jeans aren't appropriate." Garcia scolded.

"I can't wear my school clothes. We're moving and we're going to get dirty." Violet said.

"Why are you so logical all of the sudden?" Garcia asked with suspicious narrowed eyes.

"I guess I've been around Dr. Reid too long." Violet answered. "He's the logical and literal one."

"She's got you there." Garcia said. "Still, after we're done with the move, I'm going to put a proper patch on those jeans."

Violet rolled her eyes behind Garcia's back when her foster mother turned to retrieve a box that had yet to be shut with tape. Reid snorted over his coffee and began to choke like he'd swallowed a fishbone.

"Geez Reid…" Garcia pulled a paper towel off the roll she hadn't yet added to the last box full of kitchen items. "If you don't stop inhaling your coffee like it's going out of style…"

Violet giggled behind her hand while Garcia wiped off Reid's mouth like he might be a small child in her care.

"Garcia!"

"Stand still," she cleaned off his white shirt and the edge of the counter top. "Why are you wearing your work clothes to a move?"

"This is an old dress shirt." He squeaked. "Look at the hole in the sleeve." He pointed to the small hole in the seam where the arm met the shoulder

Violet was laughing so hard tears poured down her cheeks.

"Don't you own a pair of jeans?" Garcia demanded as she glared at his usual cords.

"No… They look stupid on me. These pants are fine, they're worn out too."

Garcia threw up her hands and picked up one of the cups of coffee. "I give up."

The rest of the team arrived by ten am. Morgan, Hotch and Rossi brought trucks. JJ came in her car. Reid had brought his ancient Volvo, but the others refused to let him pack up anything of Garcia's in it.

"Just what we need, for that rat trap to break down filled with Garcia's unmentionables."

"Don't worry stud muffin… I put those boxes in the back of _your_ truck myself." She winked at him through her glasses with ruby red frames.

"Baby-girl, you're so bad."

"You're a bad influence on me."

"Can we finish this up before midnight?" JJ said impatiently.

"Alright sunshine, you don't have to freak out."

"I'm not freaking out. I just want to get this done today."

"Come on stud," Garcia took Morgan's arm. "You can help Hotch with the couch.

Violet lugged a box from the kitchen, and out the door behind Reid who carried a box marked "living room," in black ink.

"Do they always talk to each other like that?" Violet asked Reid as they headed down the stairs and out the main entrance to the building.

Reid didn't answer the question until he reached Hotch's truck. He lifted the box into the back, fitting it in between two other boxes. "Yes they do, but it doesn't mean anything though. She has a boyfriend."

"She does?"

Violet positioned her box behind the one Reid had added to the truck. She snapped the pink bubblegum she chewed with a perplexed expression.

"Yeah, his name is Kevin."

Violet shrugged. "That's weird. I've never seen him and she doesn't talk about him. She talks about Morgan all the time though. I thought she liked him."

Reid returned her shrug. "I don't know. I thought they were still going out. Maybe something happened."

"Do ya think?" Violet said sarcastically. "Don't girls talk about the guys they like?"

Reid frowned and leant up against the back of the SUV. "I don't know. I'm not a girl."

"I know you're not a girl." Violet said, going pink in the cheeks. "Geez… You're old, don't you know all about girls and dating."

"I'm not old!" Reid squeaked. "I'm only twenty-nine."

"That's old." Violet said.

"Compared to you," Reid said. "You're just turning fifteen which makes you half my age."

"Duh… Mr. Smarty pants. I can do the math you know." She touched his elbow and smirked up at him.

"I didn't say you couldn't," he squeaked.

"So what kind of girl do you like?" Violet inquired.

"I'm not sure you should ask that kind of question." He hedged.

"Why not? Adults always say that when they don't want to tell you something."

He looked down at his shoes. "Girls don't like me."

"But -"

"We should go back up and help." Reid cut her off. "This isn't a conversation for someone my age and someone your age anyway."

"I hate that everyone treats me like a kid." She stood with her arms crossed over her chest. She was glaring at him, which baffled him.

"Violet, I didn't mean -"

"Hey, why are you two out here chatting when there's work to be done?"

Reid jumped at the sound of Rossi's voice at his elbow. "We weren't chatting."

"Looks like it to me. So how are you feeling Violet?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" She left Reid standing there with Rossi.

"So what were you chatting about?" Rossi asked.

"When did Garcia and Kevin break up?" Reid asked Rossi instead of answering his question.

Rossi added another box to the back of Hotch's truck. He pulled the door shut with a slamming click. "It's been a couple of weeks."

"How do you know?"

"She stopped talking about him about two weeks ago. Haven't you noticed that she and Morgan are flirting ad nauseum again?"

Reid followed Rossi through the morning sunshine through the entrance to Garcia's building. Their shoes squeaked and thumped on the stairs as they made their way back up to her apartment.

"Yeah, I noticed it but -"

The truth was that he'd been too wrapped up in his own misery and trying to get along with a certain black cat to notice that Kevin didn't seem to hang around anymore.

"Don't sweat it kid. We're all wrapped up in our own problems. When Garcia wants to talk about it, she'll tell you. Until then, don't say anything to her."

Reid was about to say that he didn't intend to say anything when JJ opened Garcia's door. "Look out, Morgan and Hotch have Garcia's couch on a couple of dollies."

Reid leapt out of the way, as the guys came through the narrow doorway. "Can I help?" He squeaked at the same time Rossi said. "Need a hand guys?"

"Nope, just stand out of the way."

It took them another two hours to load up the cars, make the trip to Garcia's new rental house, unload and return for the rest of her stuff. It was three in the afternoon when they finally finished moving everything into the small home.

"Come on guys…" JJ said. "If we hurry we can get the kitchen and the bedrooms set up in no time."

* * *

><p>Rossi disappeared an hour later only to turn up with three paper bags with the name "Lucia's" on the side.<p>

"Oh man I love you." Reid exclaimed.

Everyone burst out laughing including Violet and Hotch at this pronouncement. The rest of the team had just finished with the bedrooms and the living area. Everyone accept JJ was collapsed on the furniture, sweaty and exhausted.

"I take it there's food in there." Hotch said.

"Hotch…" Reid squeaked. "It's not just food; it's the best Italian on the East Coast."

The team laughed at Reid's excited expression. "I have to agree with the kid on this one." Rossi said. "There's nothing better than Lucia's."

He began opening bags, removing a large container of lasagna, bread sticks, green salad and a large container of soup. "I made a command decision and got lasagna. I hope that's alright with everyone."

"Did you know that there are two theories on the origins of the word lasagna? The first comes from the Greek word laganon meaning 'unleavened bread," Reid began, his fingers waving around as they always did in lecture mode. "The second is that it comes from the Greek word lasanom, meaning 'chamber pot or trivet or stand for a pot. Italians used the word to refer to the dish in which they cook the lasagna."

"That's great," Morgan said. "Can we eat now?"

JJ and Garcia hunted up some paper plates and some eating utensils. They attacked the food with the good humor and hunger that came from spending the day in hard work to help a fellow human being.

"I wish we had a good wine to go with this, but soda will have to do for now." Rossi said.

Violet made a face. "I hate wine. How can you guys drink that stuff?"

"When did you taste wine?" Garcia asked as the others stared at the teen with open curiosity and worry.

"Did someone give it to you little mama?" Morgan asked.

"Don't go nuts." Violet responded. "My mother used to drink it all the time with dinner. I bugged her once, till she gave it to me."

"How old were you?" Hotch inquired.

"I was ten."

"What?"

"Don't freak out." She rolled her eyes. "I didn't like it and I haven't had any since then."

Everyone just sat there looking at her as she went back to her meal. After a long minute, she glanced up at them. "Why are you staring at me? I'm not a budding teenage alcoholic you know."

"That's not funny." Garcia retorted.

"Studies show that the younger a child is when first introduced to alcohol, the higher the probability they'll develop a problem."

"I'm not going to become an alcoholic." Violet said again.

Everyone had stopped eating and was watching Violet, Garcia and Reid. "You guys, let's not talk about this now."

"You don't trust me." Violet shot at Garcia.

"That's not true. I just want you to be safe. I care about you."

"How can you when you barely know me. You only have me living here because my mom is dead."

She pushed out of her chair and ran crying out of the room. "Violet."

Morgan grabbed her arm. "Let her go mama."

"Yes," Hotch said. "I have something I need to talk to you about anyway and its better that she's not in the room."


	7. Secrets Kept, Secrets Revealed Part 2

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_a/n here's the next chapter kiddies. Please enjoy and thank you for all your support and feedback. _**

**_Secrets Kept, Secrets Revealed Part 2 _**

"What is it Hotch?"

He looked over at JJ and she nodded to him. "Actually, JJ and I have something we need to tell you."

"You're scaring me." Garcia said, wiping at a stray tear.

"It's not our intention to scare you. In fact, you're going to be very upset with both of us. It's my fault." JJ said.

Hotch shook his head, his glowering expression even more grave than usual. "It was my idea."

"Hotch…"

"There's no way to say this but to come out with it. When we went after Ian Doyle, and Emily was hurt I made a decision."

"We made a decision." JJ insisted as all their eyes turned to her, all the food long forgotten.

"What kind of decision?" Rossi asked.

"We decided to use the resources of the FBI, Interpol, and the DOD to fake Emily's death."

"What?"

"Hotch, what are you talking about?"

"I don't understand; she's dead."

Reid was the only one that didn't blurt out at Hotch. He just sat there staring at his boss like he didn't recognize the man.

"Please everyone… We had to act very fast. Ian had disappeared and all of us were in danger. It's true that the surgeon almost lost Emily on the operating table. It was then we decided to tell you that she'd died. JJ provided her with everything she needed to help her go after Doyle. The hope was that he wouldn't see her coming this time and she could take care of him once and for all."

All of them had gone as silent as statues. Morgan's hands were fisted on the table, Reid sat white faced and shaking. Garcia had tears running down her face. Rossi just studied Hotch like he was an interesting new species of insect.

"What are you saying?" Garcia finally demanded in a trembling whisper."

"I'm saying that Emily is alive. She's been in Europe for the last month and a half. Her focus was to find and terminate Ian Doyle. She succeeded a week ago. He and most of his associates were killed in an explosion at his home, which Emily set up."

No one responded to Hotch's revelation for long, tense minutes. Finally, Garcia spoke first. "You lied to all of us." She hissed. "How could you do that? I thought we were a family."

"It had to be done." JJ said. "It was the only way to get rid of Doyle for good."

"No!" Morgan shouted. "It was the easy way out. We could have faced him together Hotch. You didn't give us the chance."

"Where is she?" Reid asked. "You wouldn't be telling us about this if she wasn't in town."

Hotch sighed and glanced over at JJ. She nodded. "She is in town. She's been staying with JJ for the last three days."

"I want to talk to her." Morgan interrupted.

"I don't," Garcia said. "I don't ever want to see or talk to her again."

"Mama…"

She picked up her plate and got up from her chair. "I think you all need to leave. I'm tired and I want to be alone."

"Garcia, we didn't do this to hurt you." JJ said.

"Get out of my house JJ. You knew Emily was alive and you let us think she was dead. How could you do that?"

"We just wanted -"

Hotch put a hand on her shoulder, "Why don't I give you a ride home JJ?"

"I never meant to hurt you." JJ told them. "We just wanted to keep everyone safe."

Garcia turned her back them and stood staring in the direction of the kitchen. Reid refused to look at anyone. Rossi just sat there staring into space with a calm, but neutral expression. Morgan's jaw clenched and unclenched in time with his fists.

"Please just leave." Garcia whispered, after a very long, painful silence. "I can't look at you or talk to you right now."

"I am sorry." JJ said.

"I don't want to hear it."

Hotch steered JJ out of the small house leaving the dining room in thick uncomfortable silence that cut like carving knife.

"I'm sorry…"

"Baby-girl, you don't have anything to be sorry about. You didn't make this happen." Morgan said, getting up to stand next to her.

"I don't want to talk about it." Reid suddenly said. "Rossi, can you please give me a ride home? I need to feed Sergio and I should get to work a paper for my abnormal psyche class, and -

Rossi laid a hand on Reid's shoulder. "Come on kid." He said kindly and with finality.

"Baby-girl I -"

"I don't want to talk about it Derek!"

"Okay…" He took her hand and rubbed one finger over the skin that always managed to feel like satin to him.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked his dark eyes deep with the mystery that always pulled her in like a powerful magnet.

"No… I don't want you to go, but I really need to go talk to Violet."

He reached up with one gentle finger and wiped away a tear from her cheek. "I get it… You're a responsible parent now."

She laughed at the twinkle in his eyes. "Don't think that in any way changes my status as goddess of all things digital."

He shook his head. "Nothing will ever change that mama. You're the sexiest hacker on the planet and my personal goddess."

"Be still my heart my chocolate God."

He kissed her briefly on the cheek. His lips didn't want to leave the warmth of her skin behind, but it was still too soon after Lynch and Violet was in the next room. He sighed inwardly and knew it was time to go.

"I'll call you later." He promised.

"I know you will." She winked at him and he laughed without humor.

"No playing Penelope. I'm worried about you."

"I'll be okay." She stroked his arm. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

His deep chocolate eyes held secrets she didn't have the answer to as he studied her face. "I'm as angry as you are with Hotch and JJ. You remember what I told my aunt."

"That was different Derek. You wanted to spare her pain. She was killing herself hoping for something that's never going to happen."

He squeezed her hand. "It's not so different, what JJ and Hotch did. They only wanted to protect Emily and us."

Garcia pulled her hand out of his grasp. "You'll never convince me that what they did was the right thing."

"Baby-girl…"

"Please Morgan, just go. I need a while to process all of this. I'll talk to you later."

He nodded. "I'll call you."

"Go," she pushed him toward the front door. "Thanks for your help with the move. Tell everyone else I said thanks too."

He nodded again and left. She shut the door and locked it behind him. She leaned back against the door and began to cry.

"Penelope…"

She looked up to see Violet standing there with red eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Oh baby," she hurried over and hugged the teenager. "Getting used to each other is going to take some time."

She led Violet to the newly installed couch in the larger living area. Sun streamed in from the big picture window at the west end of the room, falling over furniture and the television leaving shadows in its wake.

"I just want you to know that I do care about what happens to you. I know I can't replace your mother, but I can be your friend, or a really perky aunt that drives you crazy."

Violet laughed, and then sniffed. "My mom never cared about me. She was more interested in her boyfriends and keeping the apartment cleaner than the average operating room. I loved her even if she didn't love me."

Garcia hugged her close. "Your mother loved you in her own way."

"No she didn't, you don't have to say that just to make me feel better."

"I'm not trying - well I guess I am trying to make you feel better."

"It's okay… So um, why are you crying? I didn't listen to your conversation, but I could hear that everyone was very upset." Violet asked, twisting her hands in her lap.

Garcia ran her fingers over Violet's short spiky hair. "You don't have to worry about it. We just got some bad news about a teammate. Someone lied to us and it was very upsetting."

"What happened?"

"I can't really explain it. You see, a couple of months ago one of our team was killed. Actually, my boss and a friend lied to us. They faked her death because a very dangerous man was after her."

"I don't understand."

She looked down at the bright blue eyes of her foster daughter. "All I can say is that Emily is alive and she's back. We're all very upset because our friends deceived us. Do you understand?"

The girl nodded and began fingering the edge of the throw draped over the back of the couch. "One time my friend Darcy told me a lie about this boy. She said he liked me and so I flirted with him, and it turned out he didn't like me that way. It was really embarrassing."

"It's kind of like that only worse." Garcia said. "Now, I want you to know that I'm very glad I have you here and we have a nice new house. What do you say we heat up dinner and then we can watch a movie?"

Violet nodded eagerly. "I am kind of hungry even though it's still early."

"Then let's get to it."

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Violet picked her way through the boxes stacked around her room. She found one particular box and pulled the tape off. Inside were her belongings from the apartment she'd shared with her mother. She lifted out a photograph of her mother. It was the only happy memory she had. Her mother was young and Violet had been a baby. They were in a park somewhere and her mother was pushing her in a swing. They were both laughing in the sunlight. Why had her mother stopped loving her? She sighed and put the picture on the night table next to her lamp.

She opened her laptop, put it on her crossed legs and pulled her I pod out of her pocket. She connected it to her laptop and began down loading the photographs she'd taken during the day. The majority of the photographs were of Dr. Reid. He was so cute. She sighed and scrolled through the pictures looking for one to put on her background. The perfect photo was of Dr. Reid blushing at something Morgan was saying to him in the messy living room. She loved it when he got flustered and blushed bright red. He looked like some of the geeky guys at school, but none of them was as good looking as Spencer.

_Spencer… _

She called him that in her journal and in her mind. She wished that one day he'd say it was okay for her to call him by his first name.

_Spencer and Violet. _

_Dr. and Mrs. Spencer Reid._

_Violet Reid. _

She filled an entire page with the name typed over and over again. Then she deleted the page and sighed. He'd never look at her like that. He was an older, handsome, guy - no, he was a man - who was smart and had a way cool job. He probably had lots of grown up woman trying to date him.

She shut her laptop and put it aside. She'd read one of her books to get her mind off the odd day that had upset everyone. Hopefully the next day would be better.


	8. Guilt and Rage

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_a/n hey all... Once again, thanks to all of you that have read and commented on this story, especially the ones that I can't answer due to the new FF updates. Here's the next chapter. _**

**_Guilt and Rage _**

Reid parked his car and stepped out into the late afternoon air. The low clunking sound of his car door shutting was the only sound he heard above the slamming beat of his heart. He drew in a steadying breath that was full of the smell of fresh cut grass. His stomach flopped against the early dinner he had only partially consumed. His hands shook and his breathing sped up. This was the last place he expected to be on a sunny day full of good times with his family.

_It's not your fault that everything went to hell._

He pushed away from the car and walked very slowly down the grassy hill. Every labored step went against his desire to just turn and go back to his car. It was crazy for him to come back here looking for someone that wasn't there, had never been there. He should be happy, but he couldn't feel anything but a rage.

He wound his way to the slate grey headstone with her name and two dates engraved on its face. It was all an elaborate lie, engineered by two people he trusted most in his life. It didn't matter that it was all in the name of protecting their family. How many people die every day in the name of good intentions? The road to hell is paved with good intentions. _Isn't that what they say? _Well… He felt like he'd slipped into hell, not a fiery hell, but a hell of doubt and pain he thought he'd left behind in his tormented childhood.

His eyes pricked as he stretched out a finger to touch the smooth face of Emily's gravestone. He blinked hard against the tears, keeping them inside the lids of his eyes instead of letting them roll down his face. His hand stopped just a fraction of an inch from the stone. No! He would not touch the unrelenting proof of a huge lie.

"Why did you let them do this to us? Why didn't you just say no? You could have told Hotch no. You could have said you were through with the lies and deception. You let them lie to us.

He abruptly turned and hurried back up the hill to his car without looking back. Emily wasn't there, so why did he come there to talk to her? She wasn't underthe ground. She was walking around alive and healthy. She let them think she was dead for weeks. It was crazy that he'd come here looking for some way to vent his anger.

He slammed into the car and twisted the key in the ignition. Sergio somehow knew she wasn't dead. How was it possible that a cat could know something so important? Cats didn't have higher reasoning skills or opposable thumbs so it didn't make sense that Sergio knew Emily wasn't in the ground and he hadn't known. He finally put the car in gear and drove away from her faux grave. He'd never come back to this place ever again.

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Emily picked up the book she'd been trying to read while JJ saw the rest of the team. JJ had told her that she and Hotch had decided to tell the team about her return to life. She looked at her watch. It was closer to six than to five. She could smell something delicious in the kitchen and hear Henry with his father.

She sighed and got up to pace around the little guest room on the first floor of JJ's two-story house. JJ had a good life in this house with Will and Henry. Emily was the interloper. She didn't belong in this house, and after the team found out about her deception, they wouldn't want her around either.

She looked at her watch again and wondered if any of them would come home with JJ or follow her home, just to give Emily a piece of their mind. She thought if anyone would come see her first it would be Garcia. She sat back down on the chair in one corner of the room and realized that if she had to see anyone; Garcia was the one she most wanted to see. The guys scared her more because although she thought she could predict how they would react, nothing was sure. She didn't know if she could handle Morgan's rage, Rossi's bored acceptance, or Reid's naked hurt.

She got up again and shut the door to her room. She didn't want to hear JJ come into the house because she'd wonder if one of them had come home with her. What if all of them had come back to the house with JJ? What if none of wanted to vent their anger on her? What was worse, anger or indifference? What was harder to deal with at that moment?

When someone knocked on the door fifteen minutes later, she jumped. She'd been wound up so tight for so long, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to relax again.

"Come in," she offered firmly.

JJ entered the room and shut the door with a quiet click. She'd deflated since the morning. Her blond hair had lost its luster and her blue eyes were red rimmed and a little puffy.

It appeared the revelation hadn't gone well. _Did you really think it would? _

"JJ I'm sorry -"

Her friend dropped down on the bed and held up a hand. "Don't say anything. I'm fine. None of this is your fault anyway. Hotch and I reacted without thinking this through. We didn't consider how your resurrection would affect the team. We just decided to seize the opportunity to give you a chance to get rid of Doyle once and for all."

"JJ," Emily interrupted. "I was the one that agreed to the plan. I could have said no. I should have trusted you guys to have my back. I'll take the consequences for all of this."

JJ reached over and clutched her friend's hand. "The three of us are going to deal with the fallout."

Emily nodded. "So are they really upset?" She laughed bitterly. "What am I saying? Of course they're really upset."

"Garcia kicked me and Hotch out of her house." JJ explained. "I don't ever want to see that look on Reid's face again."

"Maybe I should have gone with you to see them."

"I don't have to be a profiler to know that idea's a loser. I'm sure you can imagine how the team would've reacted to that."

"Yeah… I guess I can. It's funny how just a few weeks dull your skills."

JJ narrowed her eyes at Emily. "I know for a fact that your skills never dull. You wouldn't have been able to take out Doyle, if you'd lost your edge."

Emily started pacing again, passing between the oak footboard of the bed and the matching dresser. "If I'd trusted you, all of this wouldn't have been necessary. I kept you alive, but I lost my family in the process. In a way, Doyle did take all that was important to me. I was so afraid for your physical lives I didn't think about trust, and friendship, and family. I didn't think how much it would hurt to lose it, but know that you're all still alive and out of my reach.

JJ stood up and blocked Emily as she made another pass in front of the dresser. "The team isn't forever out of your reach. I know they'll forgive you. I'm not so sure if they'll find it in their hearts to forgive me or Hotch."

Emily suddenly laughed. "We really messed it up, didn't we?"

"Yeah… but we're going to fix it. Now… Will's got dinner ready. I've already had something to eat with the team. Why don't you go eat? Henry's already used to you sitting right next to his chair."

"I am a little hungry." Emily admitted. "It smells heavenly."

JJ took her elbow and pulled gently in the direction of the door. "Come on Prentiss… Have some food and drink. Everything will look better in the morning."

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Sergio immediately ran to Reid when he stepped through the door to his apartment. He wound his way through Reid's legs, meowing loudly. Reid ignored the cat, dropping his messenger bag on the entry table as he passed through the living area.

He went to his keyboard and turned it on. Sergio jumped onto his lap the minute he sat down on the bench. "No Sergio… I don't have time for you right now." He picked up the cat and dropped him to the floor.

Sergio flicked his tail and jumped back up onto the bench, meowing in a pitiable way. "I said I don't have time right now. Get down." Reid hissed.

Sergio growled back and leaped off Reid's lap. He ran out of the room, leaving Reid staring at him and then down at his hand. He'd nearly smacked the cat out of temper and stress. He clenched his hands into fists, cutting his palms with his fingernails. None of this would be happening if Emily had trusted them.

He made his fingers unclench and go to the keyboard. Another headache was coming on. He could feel it gathering behind his eyes like black storm clouds on the horizon, pregnant with rain hard as nails, waiting to drum on his head until he screamed. Music was the only thing he could think of to make it all go away.

His fingers began a song he'd been practicing for weeks, but couldn't seem to get right. His fingers stumbled over the first measures and he cursed. He started again, fumbling over the first chords. The tune clashed together like discordant bells in a long abandoned church.

"Damn it!"

He just couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was JJ, Hotch and Emily. Three of the people he trusted with his life had betrayed him. He turned off the keyboard and moved to the couch. He didn't know why he was surprised. Everyone one he'd ever loved went away or betrayed him. Eventually it always happened. Gideon left, Elle left, his dad left, and his mother was locked away in her mind. He didn't have any close friends and now this.

Sergio jumped up on the couch and sat there looking at him with baleful green eyes. "I'm sorry I took it all out on you."

Sergio stared at him for a minute, and then crawled into Reid's lap. "What do you say we get out of here?" Reid asked the cat.

Sergio purred loudly under Reid's fingers. "I'll take that as a yes."

He pulled out his phone and dialed a speed dial number. "Yeah Hotch… No! I don't want to talk about it. No, Hotch… I've got several weeks of vacation time. I'm going to take some time off. I don't know when I'm coming back."

He hit the end button, cutting off his bosses protests and looked down at Sergio. "I guess it's just you and me buddy. Don't worry… I have the perfect place to take a break. I think you're going to like it."


	9. The First Confrontation

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all... Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy and once again thanks to all my faithful and loyal readers. I wish I could respond to all your reviews but... Okay no more complaining about the site. Happy reading!_**

**_The First Confrontation _**

Reid pulled his car off the paved road and onto a bumpy dirt lane. As the car jolted, Sergio hissed in the back seat.

"We're here… You can relax." Reid called over his shoulder.

Sergio hissed again as if to say he did not believe a word Reid said.

"When are you going to accept the fact that your carrier is for your protection?" Reid asked as he parked his car. "What am I saying? I'm talking to you like you can understand that I only have your welfare in mind."

He slapped his forehead and laughed. "I'm going out of my mind Sergio."

The cat didn't respond in any way.

"Silence is consent." Reid informed the cat.

He walked around to the trunk and opened it. He had two suitcases in the back, his go bag and his messenger bag. He also had a few bags of groceries and other supplies. He picked up the heaviest suitcase grunting at its weight. _Geez… Hotch'll love it if I give myself a hernia._ He frowned. He didn't like it that his mind automatically worried what Hotch would think. His boss had betrayed them. He didn't deserve those kinds of thoughts and worries.

The first trip he made was to take the groceries inside. He lugged the suitcase into the cabin with his messenger bag over his shoulder next trip and then his go bag and a second suitcase. He left everything just inside the door.

By the time, he got Sergio in the cabin and out of the carrier, that cat was growling low in his throat. He scrambled out of confinement and ran across the room to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Reid shrugged and took the lighter suitcase to the biggest bedroom and set it on the bed. A black flash raced out from under the bed and out the door when Reid entered the room.

"There're only so many places you can run to." Reid yelled after him. "Didn't we go through this once?"

Sergio did not reappear so Reid decided to ignore him. He unpacked his bags, placing clothes in the closet and in the huge oak dresser that stood to one side of the bed against the log wall. He took his toiletries bag to the bathroom and left it next to the sink.

Several minutes later when he opened the large suitcase, Sergio jumped up on the tattered, but comfortable sofa and stood twitching his tail.

"Are you done freaking out now?"

Sergio sat, lifted a paw and began to wash his face.

"Good, because _I _intend to enjoy the peace and quiet here." He lifted out one of twenty new library books he'd packed for his trip. Finding books he hadn't read was a challenge, but he'd managed to do it before this trip.

Sergio climbed into his lap as he sat down to read a little before he had to decide what to do for dinner. The kitchen was outfitted for a master chef, but he wasn't Gideon.

"This cabin belongs to a man I once called my mentor." He explained to the cat. "He had to go away though, but he said I could stay here anytime I want. I rather hoped he'd be here. I really could use his advice."

Sergio just stretched his neck waiting for Reid's long fingers to scratch him. "I know… You're a male of simple pleasures. Okay, we might as well enjoy our time off. I'll think about what I'm going to do later."

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Emily and JJ sat in the living room trying to wade through more of the paperwork to re-establish her identity. Emily had spoken with the Director at the J Edgar Hoover building. He wasn't happy with her 'death' and she'd have to deal with an IAB inquiry, but he'd reinstated her as an agent of the BAU. Now she had to find some way to approach the team before going back to work in a week.

"I guess I should be glad it takes so much paperwork to come back to life." Emily commented sourly. "Otherwise everyone would do it."

JJ snorted laughter. "I have to say there were a couple of times, with a couple of boyfriends, before I met Will that made me wish I could fake my own death."

"You had stalkers that were _that _bad." Emily asked seriously. "Why didn't you ask the guys for help?"

JJ stopped correlating files into piles and grimaced. "No… I'm not serious, but there was one guy that wouldn't take no for an answer. I mentioned him to Gideon once. Come to think of it… He disappeared soon afterward. You don't suppose…"

The doorbell rang making Emily twitch, which irritated her. Ian Doyle was dead. When would her brain accept it and stop jumping at every unexpected noise? _It's not Doyle that's haunting you._

"Garcia!"

JJ's surprised tone redoubled Emily's tension immediately.

Her heart began to race and her hands to sweat as she heard Garcia's voice for the first time in weeks.

"Hello JJ…"

Her heart sank even further to hear the utterly serious tone from her friend, no teasing and no pet names.

She sighed, stood and turned to meet the consequences of her actions head on.

JJ silently led their friend into the living area. Emily saw her friend glance over the room and skip over the paperwork scattered over the coffee table and the floor before settling on Emily.

They stared at each other for a long time. JJ didn't say anything in the silence thick as maple syrup. She didn't sit and she didn't look at the two women until Emily broke the silence.

"Hey Garcia… It's good to see you." Her voice rasped a bit on the last word.

"Is it?"

Emily tamped down the irritation that jumped up in her throat. She deserved the ire of her friend. She had to take it and go on.

"Yes. I missed all of you very much."

Garcia didn't move, or sit, though JJ moved to the couch and sat. "I find that hard to believe. You lied to us Emily. We wanted to help and you wouldn't let us."

"I couldn't bear losing any of you."

Garcia pursed her ruby red lips. Her matching glasses, her yellow skirt and red blouse with lace at the sleeves and a ruffled collar were pure Garcia style that made Emily smile despite the fact that she was about to get yelled at.

"But you thought we could bear losing you? We love you," Garcia said. "We would have done anything to keep you safe."

"I was so scared for all of you." Emily got up off the carpet and went to her friend. "When Ian Doyle first came to DC, he threatened all of you. He knew all about you like he was watching you or had people watching you. I took away his son and he wanted to take away my family. I couldn't let that happen."

"Who says you get to make that decision?" Garcia asked.

"Garcia."

"It's okay JJ." Emily nodded holding up a hand to stop JJ from getting up. "She's right. I didn't let the team make that decision. I was wrong."

Garcia studied her for minutes as big tears rolled down her face. One of her hands began fidgeting with the chunky necklace she wore. "You sacrificed yourself for us. I'm so mad and kind of proud at the same time."

"I'm really sorry." Emily said. "I want to make it up to all of you."

"You know I always try to look for the good in things?" Both JJ and Emily nodded. "I asked myself what good came of this and the thing I came up with is that you're still alive. Even though it's caused a lot of pain and distrust amongst us, you're still alive. So, we can still fix it. You're alive and with time, someday we can fix it." Garcia stepped forward and hugged her so tight that Emily's eyes filled with tears. "I know everything happens for a reason." Garcia said into her ear. "I believe that with all my heart. Thank you for trying to protect us."

"I didn't do a very good job." Emily sniffed "The team's torn apart because of me."

"No Emily," JJ interrupted. She joined them again near the back of the couch. "Hotch and I did what we thought was best and in doing so, we destroyed the trust of the team."

"I'm forgiving you." Garcia said, "Because I'm Henry's Godmother and I need to spend time with the little guy."

JJ's blue eyes filled with tears. "I really didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to protect everyone."

Garcia hugged her almost as tight as she hugged Emily. "Then we'll blame it on Hotch."

Emily laughed, and then went sober again. "I know I have to earn everyone's trust again." JJ nodded in agreement, as she wiped at her tears. "I'm willing to do that and I'm willing to take any punishment you deem necessary."

Garcia grinned through her tears. "I was thinking of destroying your cyber life, but it looks like you have enough problems with all this." She gestured to the piles of paper.

JJ rolled her eyes. "Apparently, it's easier to get into the CIA than it is to resurrect your life."

"Why don't I see what I can do about that?" Garcia said. "I'm sure I can hack into a few data bases -"

"No," Emily shook her head. "We do this the right way."

Garcia nodded, "You're probably right my dove. It would be fun though."

"Thanks," Emily felt sheer relief unknot in her stomach so that she felt lightheaded. "I really am sorry for hurting you, but not trying to protect you guys."

"I think several months of groveling will be in order." Garcia predicted.

"Very funny."

"Do you want some tea?" JJ asked.

"No, I can't, I need to get back to Violet.

"How is she doing?"

"She's doing better. She still misses her mother, although good riddance to bad rubbish I say."

"Who are you talking about?" Emily asked.

"My foster daughter, she used to live in the same apartment building as Reid. Her mother was less than maternal. She had a crazy boyfriend that tried to rape Violet. He killed her mother and then himself. The only decent thing the mother did was come home early and find the boyfriend there. Violet was shot in the scuffle, but she's healing."

"It's good of you to take her in." Emily said.

Garcia beamed. "I met her in the hospital when Reid and I took Sergio over to see her and the other sick kids. She's a sweetheart despite her family."

"You sound pensive PG." Emily said.

Garcia smiled at the familiar nickname. "I was just thinking. You're back and we have a chance to make things right with each other." She reached out and took JJ and Emily's hands with hers. "Violet won't have that chance. It makes me sad."

"I know you Garcia… You're just the person to help her move on even though there's not closure with her mother."

Garcia beamed. "Thank you…"

"So back to Sergio. JJ told me that Reid is taking care of him. I guess I should talk to Reid next."

JJ shook her head. "Maybe you should give him some space. He was really broken up about it."

"Yeah no thanks to you," Garcia said. Then she flushed candy apple red. "I'm really sorry. That was uncalled for."

"It's okay. I deserve it."

"No JJ… I really -"

"Don't apologize for speaking your mind. We're in this mess because we kept too many secrets."

JJ flicked her eyes over to Emily who smiled wearily. "I hate secrets and lies, and yet here we are. JJ, Hotch and I have become all the things I hate about politics and government agents. Sometimes I think it might be better if I just walk away."

Garcia wrapped her up in another tight hug. "You can't go away. We love you, I have to torture you for a few months for scaring me like that, and if you stay, maybe you can change things from the inside. Maybe this happened so we can make a difference."

Emily choked out laughter over more tears. "Alright, I'll stick around if only to see what happens next to this odd little family we got going on."


	10. Conscious and Subconscious

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all... here's the next chapter. As always... thank you for your kind reviews and for adding this to your favorites and alerts.**_

_**Conscious and Subconcious **_

_Reid took his plate and drinking glass to the sink. Sergio jumped up on the counter top and sniffed at Reid's hand. _

"_You already had your dinner." _

_Sergio meowed and batted a paw at his hand. _

"_I have to clean up the mess and then we can go sit out on the porch for awhile." _

_Sergio jumped down from the counter and ran out of the room. "You're lucky you don't have opposable thumbs." Reid called after him. "You don't have to wash dishes." _

_He found the cat fifteen minutes later sitting in the easy chair next to the couch. "How about we go sit outside for awhile." _

_The cat ran to the door and scratched at it. "Don't get nervous. I'm coming." _

_He pushed opened the screen door, which squeaked a little as it swung forward. Sergio ran out ahead of him and leaped up on the split log railing of the porch. The cat walked along the wooden railing to the far corner of the porch with Reid following him. _

"_I wish I were as graceful as you." Reid said. _

_He stood for a moment in the early evening air. It was still April and still cool, but the air smelled heavily of pine and other floral scents. He breathed it in and out, glad for once that his head didn't hurt. _

_Sergio stood silently on the railing, staring out into the darkening evening like a small furry sentinel. The sun was going down, leaving the sky light blue, gold and purple. A bird he couldn't identify chirped in the forest. Its call was answered but another bird a little further away. Maybe it was calling to its mate. Sergio's head cocked, but he didn't move. _

"_I wish I knew what you're thinking." _

_The cat swished his tail. "I should tell you that you were right. Emily is alive. I don't know how you knew, but you were right. I'm going to have to give you back to her." _

_Sergio walked over to him and pushed his head into Reid's hand. "I know… I'm going to miss you to, but you don't belong to me." _

_Sergio jumped off the porch and took off into the woods. "Hey," Reid hollered. "Sergio, come back here." _

_He cursed and hurried back into the cabin. He grabbed a sweater and the flashlight he'd brought for emergencies. He should have known the cat would take off. He shouldn't have let him out of the cabin. _

_Now he'd have to go looking for him. _

_The light was still bright enough that he didn't need the flashlight. The cat had gone into the trees to his left. Reid didn't like the fact that there wasn't a trail. He flicked on the light when he entered the forest because the shadows deepened and surrounded him. "Sergio… Where are you? I don't have time for this." _

_His voice echoed a bit and his feet crunched the ground. He looked down to see the left over leaves from the fall lying on the ground. They nearly matched the color of the dirt, but not enough to disguise what they were to his eyes. _

"_No…" He said a loud. _

_He put one hand on the trunk of a very tall pine tree and closed his eyes. "I will not let you do this to me." He said through gritted teeth. _

_Something snapped in the woods. He forced his eyes to stay closed even though his breath wheezed in and out like an old pair of bellows. His heart raced and cold sweat popped out on his forehead. Pain cleaved his head and his chest. _

"_Breathe…" He choked out. "One. At. A Time." He gasped. _

_He forced his eyes open. Everything wavered around him. The trees seemed to bend in to crush him with their weight. He slapped his hands to his head and fell to his knees. The pain was so bad he couldn't think straight. "Make it stop!" He screamed. _

_Birds taking startled flight from their nests flapped their wings so loudly it almost drowned out the pain of his headache. Footsteps echoed through the forest, growing louder and louder. "Please stop it! I can't take it." _

"_It's what you deserve." _

_Oh, he knew that voice. It haunted his dreams. "I didn't do anything wrong." _

"_You're nothing… Your father knew. He left you because you're worthless." _

_He wouldn't open his eyes even though the voice crashed around him like monster waves on the ocean. _

_The voice suddenly faded away. He dropped forward his face in the leaves. The smell roiled in his stomach and he retched. "Emily was right about you." Another voice, with Ireland in its depths whispered in his ear. "She said you were pathetically weak boyo. She needs a real man in her life, not some weakling that can't walk in the woods without screamin like a wee girl in the schoolyard."_

"_You're not here." Reid said between clenched teeth. "You're dead." _

"_Aye… That's true, but it doesn't matter. I had her the way you'll never have her. She's a real woman, too much for a boy like you to handle. You're just a scared, lost, little boy in a man's pathetically weak body." _

"_Stop it." _

_He rolled on his back, clenching his teeth together so hard they ached. He refused to open his eyes. If he didn't see then it wasn't happening. He wouldn't listen to the taunts of a dead man that he'd never met face to face. _

"_He's right," Emily said softly. _

_He could feel her breath on his cheek as she spoke. He wanted to open his eyes and see her face, but something kept them shut. It was like there were weights on his eyelids holding them down against his eyeballs. _

"_Go away…" He said. _

"_You don't want that Reid. I know you better than that." _

"_You betrayed us. I never want to see you again. Go away." _

_Silence took the place of footsteps, breathing and the pounding of his heart. It was like he'd gone suddenly and profoundly deaf in an instant. Then someone touched his shoulder and his eyes opened easily, as though nothing had held them shut. _

He looked right into the eyes of Sergio who sat on the carpet next to the couch. His green eyes were bright in the setting sun.

"Where… I - what happened?"

Sergio meowed and ran to the door. "Oh no, you're not going out without a leash." He said hoarsely and the dregs of the dream faded away into that place where he couldn't remember the details.

"We didn't go out yet did we? I just fell asleep reading."

His head hurt a little, but not like the pain in the dream. "I guess I'd better make us something to eat."

He stood up and went to the kitchen with Sergio following him. "I don't want to give you back Sergio." He said firmly. "I don't think she deserves you."

Sergio ignored him and went to his bowl.

"Nice vote of confidence."

The smartass cat just swished his tail and meowed.

"I know you have to eat first."

He went through his daily ritual of trying to get the cat food into the dish without Sergio sticking his head inside.

"Haven't you heard of patience as a virtue?" Reid asked the cat.

Sergio ignored him for the cat food, so Reid went to make something to eat. He decided on a sandwich and a bottle of green tea with citrus flavor he liked. It was one of his favorite drinks and it went well with the ham and cheese. He looked at the apples he'd bought and decided that he should be smart and have something healthy.

"You can't eat like a teenager forever," Reid said to the cat, who continued to ignore him. "That's what Emily said once."

His headache moved up a notch. The dream, once so vivid had receded a bit in his memory but he could still hear her saying he was worthless.

"She didn't mean it." He said to Sergio. "Dreams are just manifestations of the subconscious trying to help us work out problems."

Sergio, who'd finished his meal in record time ran to Reid and rubbed his neck against Reid's leg. "Do you think I'm being too hard on her? I mean she was mean to me in the dream. I can't take it literally, but I guess my subconscious is still really upset by what she did."

He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed thoughtfully while Sergio lay down next to his chair. "Do you think I was wrong to run away?" Reid asked Sergio. "It's what Gideon did when he couldn't cope. I don't want to be like that. Don't get me wrong," He explained as the cat stared up at him. "Gideon was the best. He just burned out."

He sipped at his green tea. "I know she wanted to protect us, but I still wish she'd told us so we could've helped her."

"I wish I knew what Gideon would say about all of this. Once he disobeyed a rule set down by a un-sub and one of our team almost died. What if Emily had told us and Doyle killed one of us?" He shivered at the thought, because for a while he had thought one of them was dead and it had nearly wrecked him. He couldn't take that again.

Sergio sat up and began washing his face. Reid watched him in silence as he chewed his food. Sometimes he wished his life could be that simple, eating, grooming and chasing mice or sleeping. If he could only shut down his brain, which constantly ran at full speed, and just be.

He took another bite of his sandwich. Sergio stared up at him with eyes that didn't give up their secrets. Reid sighed. "You think I've been too hard on everyone."

Sergio continued to sit and stare at him as though he were trying to figure Reid out.

"I'm not, you know," Reid defended. "They lied to me. How could Hotch and JJ do that to us?"

He picked up his apple and crunched into it. "They can't expect me and Morgan and Garcia to just say 'Hey, we forgive you for lying to us for our own good,' don't you think?"

Sergio just stared at him.

"I'm not going to think about it. I'm going to enjoy a few days off and then I'll decide what I'm going to do."


	11. Thoughts and Plans

**_Disclaimer: see my profile _**

**_a/n here's the next chapter. As always, many thanks to all my loyal reader, reviewers and those who've add this to your favorites and alert. You guys rock. Please enjoy._**

**_Thoughts and Plans _**

Morgan rounded the corner to his neighborhood with Clooney at his side. The dog ran without panting, but Morgan's breath hissed in and out. He'd pushed himself harder than he ever had, running three miles over his self-imposed limit because he couldn't get Emily out of his head. All he could see in his mind's eye was his friend lying on the concrete floor of a filthy warehouse with that damn wooden stake sticking out of her abdomen. If he had known then what he knew now… but it was, just useless speculation to think about the "what if's" in life.

Clooney chuffed beside him as they passed the middle of the block where his friend Thumper lived with his human Scott Varney.

"No… You can't go play with Thumper. We don't have time tonight. It's dinner time anyway."

In truth, Morgan wasn't in the mood for Scott Varney's unfailing cheerfulness about everything. It got on his nerves because he believed that no one could be that happy all the time. There had to be something wrong with the man. The strange thing was that Varney's wife Miranda was just as happy all the time. It reminded him of that movie, "The Stepford Wives."

Clooney whined.

"Come on boy," Morgan huffed. "We need to go home and I need to decide what I'm going to do."

He'd slowed to a slow trot, trying to get his heart rate back down again. His side ached and he could taste the metallic flavor of blood in the back of his throat. He'd run too hard, but hadn't been able to stop as confusion and anger raged in his head.

Clooney followed him into the house. The dog went to his water dish and whined. Morgan filled the dish then limped over to the fridge for a bottle of water. He chugged it down much faster than he should have and it roiled in his stomach.

His mutt lapped up half the water, then shook his head from side to side. His ears flapped and water flew hitting the cabinets and the floor. Morgan went to his canine friend and bent to scratch behind his left ear. "Thanks for the run buddy. I ran us both too hard but you don't seem to mind at all."

Clooney chuffed, barked and licked at Morgan's hands.

"You forgive me for anything, even if I don't deserve it."

He went to his room, stripped off his dark blue tee shirt, and threw it in the hamper. "Human's aren't as good at forgiving boy. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not."

He removed the rest of his workout clothes and headed into the bathroom. He turned on the water to a temperature that began working the stiffness out of his muscles. It was much warmer than he liked, but it also kept his mind off Emily's return for a few minutes.

Clooney was waiting outside the door when he exited with a light blue towel around his waist. "I'm okay buddy. I promise. I just have to decide what to do."

The dog preceded him into his bedroom. Morgan changed into jeans and a dark blue polo. Clooney nudged him with his head when Morgan just stood there staring at the wall over his dresser.

"Sorry boy… I'm just trying not to punch a hole in the wall. I don't want a broken hand."

Clooney stared up and him and whined.

"Don't worry boy. I'll figure it out."

He went back to the kitchen for a beer. Clooney needed something to eat as well. His stomach growled, but he didn't feel like eating anything.

He left the dog in the kitchen and took the beer to his living room. He sat down, then stood up again and began to pace. He wanted to loose control and give Hotch, JJ and Emily a piece of his mind. How dare they do this to the team? Where was the trust? They'd worked together for four years. Was it wrong to think that the time together demanded a certain trust?

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his baldhead. If he were honest, he'd admit that most of the conflict in his gut didn't come from his anger over Emily's actions. She'd left them floundering around until Ian had almost killed her and then she went off on her own to deal with him.

A smile overtook his irritated expression because if anyone could deal with Ian Doyle, it was Emily Prentiss. Now one of the worst terrorists in the world and his cronies were dead. He was happy about that because the world was a safer place.

Clooney padded over and put his head in Morgan's lap. "What it comes down to," he said to the mutt. "Is that Hotch and JJ did the same thing I did to my Auntie. I lied to her about Cindy, about my own cousin, because hope for the day when we'd finally find her dead or alive, was killing her. I took the chance to free her from that. How can I say that what Hotch did was so wrong? He protected us and he gave Prentiss what she needed to take Doyle down, finally.

Clooney whined softly as Derek massaged his head. "So… What do you think Clooney? What do I do?"

Clooney pulled his head away from Morgan and lay down at his feet. "You could be right. Maybe getting some rest is the best thing right now."

His phone began to play a tune that made him smile, as he moved from the couch to his favorite easy chair.

"Hey Baby Girl," He rumbled happily into the receiver.

"_How did you know it was me?"_

"You've got your own special ring tone, sweetness."

"_Really, what is it?"_

"Oh no, you don't get to know."

"_Why not?"_

"A man has to have his secrets."

"_I think it's the woman that's supposed to be mysterious in a relationship." _

He smiled broadly at her flirtatious tone. It was innocent and full of promise all at the same time.

"Did you call just to get my blood hot?" He demanded cheerfully.

"_I called because I thought maybe you could use some company." _

"If it's you, then most definitely," He assured her.

"_Good… I'll be there in half an hour with pizza and beer." _

"What about Violet?"

"_She's at a sleepover with a friend from school. I didn't want her to go, but Mary told me that letting her return to normal activities with her friends is important." _

"I agree mama. She's a good kid. Don't worry so much."

"_I can't help it. Even though it's only been a couple of weeks, I love her like she's my own." _

Morgan smiled again. "She is your own. You're the most caring, giving and loving person I know. It's why I love you."

"_I love you too Derek." _

"You better."

She laughed. _"I'm on my way." _

He slapped his phone shut and reached down to pet the dog. "Garcia is coming over buddy. We better tidy up the place a little."

It was amazing how just the thought of Garcia in his place immediately lifted his mood. He'd talk to her about the mess at work and together they'd figure out how they'd handle the fracture in their family.

CMCMCM

Emily curled up in a rocking chair in JJ's guest room. She pulled her phone from her pocket and switched it on. It was a brand new cell phone with a new number. It wouldn't come up on his caller ID with her name. Perhaps if she called him, he'd answer not knowing it was she and she could talk to him. She looked at the phone for a long time then slid it closed and held on to it like a life preserver.

She was very good at hiding her feelings. Her skill at compartmentalizing wasn't something that came from working at Interpol. Working as an agent for Interpol had enhanced those skills, but they really came from life growing up with diplomats for parents. She'd learned early on to pretend that nothing bothered her, that she didn't care about the constant moves to countries and cultures that she didn't understand. It was harder as a teenager to hide her feelings, but eventually she'd trained herself to stay on constant guard. Until she met _him_…

Working at the BAU was supposed to be a step up in her career. She never thought it would lead her to the greatest enigma in her life. The day she met him, she never thought he'd turn out to be the puzzle she couldn't figure out.

She opened the phone again. She should just call him and apologize. She'd gladly take any recriminations he had for her, just to hear his voice and see his face. Her fingers began dialing the number, but she stopped after the first three. If she called him, it would be a cop out. It was easy to talk to someone if you didn't have to face him or her. It was the coward's way and he deserved better than that.

There was only one thing to do.

CMCMCM

When Emily stood in front of Reid's door, she did so with shaking hands and a stuttering heart. Her mouth had gone dry. She suddenly thought she should have called him first instead of showing up. She straightened her shoulders and reached out to ring the bell. She thought she could hear the buzz, but it was probably her imagination. The seconds passed like honey pouring from a jar.

He didn't answer. She looked up at the peephole. Was he behind it looking out at her? She knocked instead of using the buzzer and waited. She wanted to shift her feet, but she made them stay still.

What was taking so long? She'd never known him to take so long to answer the door.

_How do you know? You've only been here once before to pick him up for one of your foreign movie showings. Maybe he has a date. Did you ever think about that?_

She decided to knock again a little louder and longer. She successfully resisted the urge to yell at him through the door or call him. He obviously wasn't home and she found that fact didn't sit well with her at all.

_You're not his keeper and after what you did…_

She shut down that thought as she walked away from his door. It appeared that the most difficult part of her coming back to her old life was about to get more difficult.


	12. Decision

**_Disclaimer: see profile_**

**_A/n hey all... here's the next chapter for my loyal readers. Thank you all for your reviews. Special thanks to my beta REIDFANATIC for all her idea's and suggestions for this story. _**

**_Decision_**

Reid scratched his head and yawned hugely as he trudged from the bedroom to the kitchen. All he needed was a large pot of coffee and he'd be ready to go. He stopped in the hallway swaying a little. He was supposed to be on vacation so why would he want to get ready to go. In fact, he should just go back to bed. He hadn't slept and then Sergio had jumped up on the bed to wake him at this ungodly hour of the morning.

He yawned again, turned around and walked back to bed. He fell face down on the bed and groaned. His head hurt, his eyes felt like someone had blown a bucket full of sand into them, and his soul ached. If he could just sleep for a couple of days, he'd feel like a new man.

The bed shifting a bit and an extremely irritated meow alerted him to the fact that his adopted cat was back and pissed at him. He flopped over to one side in the direction of Sergio's annoyed meows and glared at the cat.

"You and I have to get one thing straight."

Sergio only stared at him out of bright green eyes.

"This is _my_ vacation. That means if _I_ decide to sleep half the morning, you better get used to it."

Sergio swished his tail and crawled forward to bat his head against Reid's midsection.

"Alright… I'm getting up."

He rolled over again and levered himself up to his feet. "Why do I let you boss me around?" Reid asked the cat as Sergio jumped off the bed.

The cat didn't answer. Instead, he ran out of the room with his tail in the air.

Reid shook his head. "The things I do for a little companionship."

* * *

><p>His head still hurt after a cup of coffee, but at least he felt more human. Sergio lay next to his food bowl, curled up in a ball like a kitten. The sun was beginning to peek into the windows and it was quiet. In fact, it was a little too quiet for a Wednesday morning. He'd been in this cabin for three days now, and he couldn't get used to the quiet.<p>

"It's weird not working on a weekday." He said to the cat, which sat up and stared at him with baleful eyes.

"So it's okay for you to wake me up, but I can't disturb you."

Sergio walked slowly over to Reid and jumped up into his lap.

"I'm not apologizing to you."

Sergio put his front paws and Reid's chest and licked his chin.

"I'm glad you're here. I'm glad Emily decided to adopt you because I couldn't stand it here alone. Why did I run away Sergio?"

Sergio didn't answer except to begin purring under Reid's petting hands. He inserted his claws into the tee shirt Reid still wore from sleeping and blinked his eyes slowly.

"I mean… I'm not happy with what Hotch, JJ and Emily did but that's no excuse to throw a tantrum, right?"

He scratched the cat behind the ears. Sergio closed his eyes and purred even louder than before which made Reid smile.

"I know… We human beings think too much. Morgan's always telling me I think too much. He's the action man and I'm the answer man, according to Garcia."

He frowned down at the cat. "Do you think it's selfish of me to be here? Garcia was hurt too and she didn't run away. She stayed in her new home with Violet. She's doing something good while I'm here sulking."

Sergio mewed softly and swished his tail.

"Do you know what I've been thinking about for the last few days? I keep thinking about six years ago in LA. We had this case with an actress that had a stalker. Her name was Lila Archer and she was unknown at the time. Anyway… The stalker killed her manager and Gideon told me not to tell her because we needed her to cooperate with us. So I did what he told me and didn't tell her."

Sergio watched him and purred.

"Actually, that's not true. I didn't tell her for a few hours, but then I kissed her and - well I didn't think it was right to keep it from her. I thought she had a right to know. She was very upset with me for keeping it from her and it was only for a few hours. Don't you think it was better for her to trust me than to cooperate with us? Maybe I'm just weaker than JJ or Hotch.

Sergio meowed and batted a paw at Reid's chin.

"What about them trusting me?" He felt some of the anger that had slowly begun to cool, flare up in his stomach again. "Why couldn't they trust me or Morgan, or Rossi with the truth? JJ says she trusts me to be Henry's Godfather, but then she lies to me."

Sergio watched him with curious bright eyes as he spoke.

"Hotch and JJ both has kids so maybe they were thinking of them and Declan. Emily protected Declan by making his father think he was dead and then she nearly died protecting him again. I love Henry and Jack is the best. They're not my kids, but I'd still do anything for them. JJ said once that you'd do anything for your family, to protect them."

He put the cat down on the floor and got up to rinse out his cup. "My mother protected me even though my dad didn't think anything was wrong at first. She knew a predator was after me. It makes sense."

He sighed. "I can't blame them Sergio, for trying to protect all their family which includes me."

The cat ran over to him and stood up, placing his paws on Reid's leg. Reid picked him up again. "So what do you think Sergio? Do I forgive them and go back?

* * *

><p>"Hey Penelope."<p>

Garcia glanced over at Violet who rode in the passenger seat of Esther. "Yeah…"

"Is Dr Reid okay?"

"Yes… I suppose he is. Morgan said he went on vacation for a few days. Why do you ask?"

Violet kept her face to the window so that Garcia couldn't see the blush creeping up into her cheeks. "I was just wondering why he hasn't brought Sergio to stay with us for a case. I miss that cat even if he's a pain."

Garcia laughed as she piloted the car to Violet's school. They'd been very lucky to find a home for rent that was in the same district, as Violet's high school so didn't have to change schools in the middle of the year.

"He is a pain, but he's a cute pain."

"Did Sp - I mean Dr. Reid tell your boss when he was going to come back. I really want to see Sergio again." She said when Garcia looked over at her.

"He didn't say." Garcia said shortly.

They turned down the side street leading to the high school right behind one of the big yellow buses like the kind Violet used to ride when her mother was alive.

Some tears sprang up in her eyes, but she blinked them back because Penelope would ask her what's wrong. She had to pretend like everything was okay because her foster mother was sad right now.

"Hey…" She noticed they'd stopped at the curb. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… Um, I'm late."

She reached for the door handle. "Violet…"

She faced her guardian unwillingly, but without tears in her eyes. "I'm fine. I'm just a little tired." She lied

"Did you have the dream again?"

"Yes…" She lied again, hating herself, but she couldn't tell her foster mother the truth about the dream she had had the night before, it was too embarrassing.

"Why didn't you tell me this morning?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me."

Penelope reached over and put a hand on Violet's face. "I like worrying about you. It takes my mind off my life."

"Thanks." Guilt began burning a hole in her gut so she exited the car. "I'll see you later."

"Okay sunshine."

"Thanks for the ride."

Garcia drove off leaving Violet feeling like a total creep for lying. Penelope wouldn't like it and Violet found it bothered her more than it would had she lied to her mother.

"Hey Vi…"

She jumped at the sound of her friend Suzie's voice.

"Yeah…"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Then come on."

The other girl pulled on her arm. "We're going to be late and you know if I get another tardy my mom will kill me."

"Okay… Let go of me."

She followed her friend into the school as the bell began to ring. She'd have to worry about Spencer later.

* * *

><p>Reid zipped up his suitcase and lifted it to the floor. His go bag and his extra overnight bag were already in the back of his car. "Hey Sergio…"<p>

The cat didn't appear so Reid went looking for him in the living room. The cat sat on the couch staring at the front door. "Come on buddy. It's time for us to go home. We've been sulking for to long."

The cat looked at him and meowed.

"Okay… So I've been sulking and you've been enjoying a few days in the woods."

Sergio began to wash.

"You're the biggest smart ass I know."

The cat swished his tail.

"I suppose you're going to fight me on getting into your carrier again."

Sergio narrowed his eyes and batted the air with his paw.

"You don't scare me anymore. Now be a good kitty and get into your carrier without making a fuss."

He went back to the bedroom and grabbed his suitcase. "Thanks for letting me use the cabin Gideon." He said into the air hoping that wherever his old mentor laid his head, he was happy.

It didn't matter what JJ, Hotch or Emily had done to protect their little family. He had to go back and face them all, especially Emily. He'd longed for a second chance, never expecting to get one and now here it was for better or worse. Gideon would tell him it was up to him what he did with it and Reid knew it was true.

"Time to have a little courage for once in your life Spencer," he said to the room. He grabbed Sergio's carrier and went out to wrangle his cat.


	13. Facing the Music Part One

_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

_**A/n hey all... here's the next chapter. As always... thank you for your kind reviews and for adding this to your favorites and alerts.**_

_**Facing the Music Part One**_

"What do you think?"

"I think it's up to you." JJ answered with a shrug.

Emily narrowed her eyes at her friend. "That's not helpful and you know it."

"If you don't want an honest answer, then don't ask the question."

Emily sighed loudly. "Come on JJ. You know I need your opinion on this. It's an important decision." She dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs and frowned. "I really want to know what you think I should do."

JJ picked up two mugs of fresh coffee and carried them to the table. "We just got your life back. You're lucky your old landlord put a good word in for you, so you could get a great new place."

"It was nice of him to do that after I left him in the lurch. It's too bad he already rented the place, but I understand that he has to make a living and leaving an apartment empty doesn't do that."

"I think it had more to do with Hotch. Remember he told us that Hotch came in and had all your stuff packed up and moved to storage. You know that no one can resist Hotch's glare."

"He probably gave Rocky some line about National Security, followed up by that stone glare.

JJ sipped at her hot coffee. "He used to be a cop. I'm surprised he'd let something like National Security and an FBI agent scare him.

Emily nodded solemnly. "I think he understands the life of an FBI agent more than most."

"I'm just sorry we scared Mrs. Wong that way when we went to see him."

JJ choked on her coffee and laughed. "I know I shouldn't laugh, but the look on her face was priceless when you bumped into her. She almost fainted right there on the stairs."

"I wonder what she yelled at me in Korean."

"It was probably some kind of curse to ward off the undead." JJ said as her lips twitched.

"Not funny…"

"Then why are you trying not to laugh?"

"Poor Mrs. Wong, she was so nice to me when I first moved into the building. She told me which washing machine never worked and that my neighbor liked to practice the trumpet at all hours."

"I'll bet you didn't put up with that for very long." JJ smirked over her coffee cup.

"No… I simply knocked on his door and showed him my badge. I explained to him that the neighbors needed quiet at night and he stopped."

"I'll bet that wasn't the only thing that scared him." JJ said.

"You can look all "Miss Know it All," but I didn't do anything but ask nicely."

"Whatever…"

"Can we get back to the problem at hand JJ?"

JJ sighed and put down her dark red mug on the table. She clasped her hands together and looked Emily right in the eye. "I think you need to start from the beginning and tell me everything."

"I told you… I went to his place the other night and he wasn't there. Hotch said he skipped town for a few days. I finally get up the courage to go see him and he's gone. I really want to talk to him JJ. I have to make him understand that I'm sorry and -"

Her voice broke. She blinked hard against tears that seemed to come excessively easily these days. "The only thing I could think about when I was gone other than keeping Declan and you guys safe from Doyle, was Reid. Its funny how being dead to everyone clears your head and sharpens your perception. You got anything stronger to add to this coffee?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"_I_ think I need it. If you don't have anything, then I'll go out and get something."

JJ sat looking at her for a moment. "I'm not going to help you get drunk."

"I don't want to get drunk JJ. I just need to take the edge off."

"Not with my son in the house," JJ insisted her eyes going black with irritation. "It won't help anyway and you know it."

"Who are you to preach to me? You and Hotch are just as deep in this as I am. Don't make me look like the only bad guy in all of this."

"Don't raise your voice Emily! Henry's taking a nap." JJ snapped.

Emily clutched at her mug so hard her knuckles were white. "I'm sorry JJ. I screwed up and I don't know how to fix it."

JJ's eyes softened just a bit. She took another sip of her cooling coffee. "Alright… Here's what I think. You need to talk to Reid and tell him what you just told me. You'll both feel better no matter what the outcome."

Emily was nodding her gaze far away and hazy. "I imagined a thousand times in the last weeks what it would be like to see him again. He's going to be really mad."

JJ got up, went around to Emily's side of the table, and put an arm around her shoulders. She squeezed hard.

"You can take it Emily. You're the strongest person I know. You took on one of the most dangerous men in the world and you won."

"I pretended that I loved him, to get deep into his world. How can I face any of you, especially Reid? He must think I'm -"

JJ rubbed her shoulder gently. "Reid is a remarkably forgiving and understanding man. You know that Emily. He knows the consequences of deep cover. He understands the psychology of what you went through with Doyle. Once he's had time to think about it, he'll come around."

"How can you believe that when he must hate you too?"

"Because I trust him to be Henry's Godfather; I trust him to pass along that wonderful part of his personality that makes him Reid."

Emily finally felt her mouth turn up in a genuine smile. "I hope you're right. He's the most unique man I've ever met."

"Doesn't hurt that he's hot," JJ said going back to her chair.

"Does your husband know you think about Reid that way?"

JJ grinned and wagged her eyebrows. "Come on, I might be married, but I'm still a woman with eyes. Just because Reid and I didn't hit if off on our one infamous date, doesn't mean I can't look."

"From now on you can look but don't touch." Emily ordered.

"I wouldn't dream of it. I know I can't take you on."

"Thanks for letting me talk to you about all of this and for going to help me find an apartment."

"No problem… Your place is closer to Reid's place." She winked at her friend. "I'm sure you didn't think about that when you saw the sign as we drove by. You do realize we nearly hit that truck when you yelled at me to turn in and see it they had openings."

"You exaggerate." Emily said, but she refused to look up from her coffee. "You never used to make things up."

JJ took Emily's mug and carried it to the sink.

"Hey… I wasn't finished with that."

"You're whining like Reid used to do when there wasn't coffee ready in the break room."

"Don't compare me to "Mr. I can't function without my first pot of coffee, Reid."

"That's overstating it just a bit, don't you think?"

"No… I don't think so. Henry will be waking up in a little while and you need to decide what you're going to do so I don't have to watch you sulk all night."

"Again, you're exaggerating," Emily, complained. "It's a bad habit."

"Too bad for you."

"Now I know why the DOD requested you to work for them. You don't pull any punches."

"No I don't, not when it comes to my friends."

"I get it. I'll talk to Reid when he comes home. Are you happy now?"

JJ just stood there looking very smug. "Yes, I'm happy. Now be nice to Spence or I will -"

"You'll hurt me." Emily said getting up from the table.

"No… I'll turn you over to Garcia."

* * *

><p>Reid shut the door to his apartment and bent to let the angry cat out of his carrier. Sergio stalked off to his favorite place on the other side of the couch where Reid couldn't see him.<p>

"You're such a drama queen." He said, dropping his messenger bag from his shoulder.

He yawned and looked at his watch. It was already after three in the afternoon. He felt like there was something he needed to do, but he didn't know it was. He picked up the suitcase with his library books and took it to the living room. He unloaded it and tried to think what was bothering him other than the biggest thing, which was dealing with Emily.

He sat down on the couch after stacking the books into two separate piles, one to read and one to return to the library. Sergio emerged from hiding and jumped up into Reid's lap. He batted a paw at Reid's chin.

"Alright… I know it's time for a treat."

Sergio jumped off his lap and ran into the kitchen. Reid sighed and followed the cat. He stood next to the sink and talked to the cat as he ate the treat Reid gave him. "I should go to JJ's house and talk to Emily."

Sergio looked up and meowed at him.

"No, I told you only one treat per day."

Sergio gave him a baleful look.

"I was thinking I didn't want to go over there because that means I have to give you back, but now…"

Sergio ran out of the room. "You're a total smartass." Reid yelled.

The cat didn't reappear so Reid went to his bedroom. He unpacked from his trip and took a shower. It was almost four when he finished dressing. "It's not too late to go visiting," he said to Sergio who'd finally showed his face again. "I have to go see Emily."

Sergio ran to the living room and stood by the door. "You can't go this time. Wish me luck."


	14. Facing the Music Part Two

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all here's the next chapter. Thank you all for your reviews and a special thanks to my beta REIDFANATIC for her contributions to this chapter. She really deserves a cowriting credit. _**

**_Facing the Music Part Two _**

Reid's hands shook so hard, he wondered how it was that he didn't rattle the steering wheel off its column as he drove to JJ's home. He also wondered if he should have called her before appearing at her doorstep. He didn't even know if she was home and it was polite to ask if it was okay to visit. He frowned and shook his head. He was very unhappy with JJ and Emily, and courtesy was low on his list of priorities even though he knew better. In any case, it was too late to turn back now. Her house was just to his left. He turned in and parked behind JJ's dark blue Government Issue sedan. That answered his question about whether or not she was home.

His hands stopped shaking when he shut off the engine, but his stomach still churned and his head ached fiercely. He stared through the windshield at the red brick home with black shutters and Henry's toys on the lawn, ready for springtime play. Henry… If Henry was there, he couldn't really have a discussion with Emily. Why hadn't he thought of that before rushing out impulsively to confront Emily? He should have called JJ first.

"Stupid…" He said under her breath. "Why are you so smart about some things and so dumb about other things?"

A tap on the passenger side window made him jump. His heart slowed when he saw Will standing there smiling at him.

Reid grabbed his messenger bag and exited his car. "Hello Will… Um, I didn't tell JJ I was coming, or even ask if it's okay so if you want I can just go."

"Spencer," Will hold up a hand. "I know why you came here. I'm not going to stop you from what you have to do. JJ is a wonderful woman and wife. She's a fantastic mother and my best friend. I know how much this hurt her. I'm not going to lie and say that all of this," He spread his hands wide, "Doesn't bother me. I don't like the fact that my wife works for an agency that makes this kind of deception possible. We've had a rather loud argument about it and we're okay. I'd like to see her okay with you again. She loves you Spencer. I know how much it would hurt her to lose your friendship."

Reid didn't speak or move through Will's speech. His stomach had settled a little, but his headache hadn't let up at all. He tried to choose his words with care because he'd come to like Will LaMontagne very much.

"I suppose I should feel better that she kept this from you as well as us. I don't though… I know it was done out of caring and to protect us, but I can't help feeling betrayed."

"I understand." Will came around the car and leaned against the front bumper. "JJ's spent the last few days wondering if you'll ever forgive her. I'm not telling you what to do because I think you and the rest of your team have cause to be hurt in a way not easily forgiven. I don't know the full details of what Agent Prentiss went through, but I know that JJ did what she did to protect you and most of all to protect me and Henry. She was terrified that he'd learn of her connection to you and use it against Emily. That threat is over now and I'm very glad that it is."

Reid nodded his head slowly. "I am thinking that this isn't the best time. I don't want to upset Henry."

Will smiled. "I'm so glad JJ suggested you for Henry's Godfather. He loves you and you treat him like he was your own."

Reid felt like smiling for the first time in days. "Perhaps I can see him before I talk to the girls. I promise I won't stay long. It's getting late."

"Why don't we go inside? You can say hello to Henry and I'll take him on a short walk. The weather is getting warmer every day so he'll love it."

"Thank you Will."

The former New Orleans detective winked and smiled. "Don't let the ladies freak you out. You say what you gotta say. You'll work it out."

Reid smiled again this time with visible nerves. "Honestly I think I'd rather talk down a murderous un-sub."

Will laughed. "Isn't it funny that women can do that to us when we're supposed to be the strong ones?"

"I think the word I'm looking for is terrified."

"If you get into trouble, you've got my cell number. I'll hurry back as fast as I can."

"That makes me feel so much better." Reid commented sarcastically.

"Come on… Let's go face the ladies."

* * *

><p>Reid stayed just inside the door ready to bolt. He hated this feeling of a coming confrontation. He wasn't good at confrontation. He'd spent most of his life avoiding arguments, fights, any type of confrontation because he was bound to lose.<p>

JJ entered the living room at Will's summons and stopped short in front of Reid. Her blond hair was pulled back a ponytail. She wore a dark skirt and a light shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Her large blue eyes were surprised and a bit fearful at the same time, which was something he wasn't used to seeing in her.

"Spence?"

"I'm sorry to burst in on you but I wanted to talk to you and Emily."

"You're always welcome Spence. I just thought that with everything that happened that you wouldn't want…"

She trailed off and flicked her eyes over to Will. "I need to talk to Spence."

Henry appeared around the couch and hurried over to Spencer. "Unca Pence."

Reid crouched down to the boy's level. "Hey Henry… How are you?"

The small boy laughed and held out the toy truck he'd been playing with to Spencer who took it. "Thanks Henry. We'll play later ok."

Will picked up the boy in his arms. "I'm going to take Henry out for a walk." He kissed JJ's cheek. "I'll be back in a while."

"See ya later Henry." Reid said, waving at the boy.

Henry grinned at him showing his white baby teeth. Will put him in the stroller and they left, shutting the door behind him and leaving Reid with JJ.

"Would you like to sit down?" JJ asked.

"I think we can skip the formalities." He said, not moving from his position near the door. "I've been here enough that I don't think that's necessary."

"Fine… We'll stand here and talk."

"I don't like your tone JJ. You're the one that lied to me."

Her blue eyes flashed anger then cooled. "I'm sorry Spence. I didn't do this to hurt you or anyone else on the team. I care about all of you. Hotch and I felt this was the best way the deal with the threat Doyle presented."

Reid's shoulders slumped. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch. "I don't know what you want me to say JJ. We worked together for six years. I trusted you with my life. I can't just get over this and pretend everything is fine. I guess I'm not as good at pretense as you are. I was upset that I didn't get to say good-bye to Emily. I wanted to go find her and say a last goodbye, but you couldn't let that happen could you. You took me in your arms and held me while I cried over the loss of someone I loved." He gave a slight snicker that held only derision and his voice cracked. "Bravo JJ, you did one hell of a job."

She froze for a moment at the coldness of his words, and then joined him on the couch. She squeezed his forearm. "I know… I'm not proud of that. I also know I have a lot of work to do to regain your trust. I love you Spence, you know that right?"

"Regain my trust, what about your trust JJ. If you couldn't trust me, or us, with this, how can I feel that you think I'm trustworthy enough for you to leave Henry's future in my hands? That's why this is so hard." His voice squeaked and broke just a little on the last word. Then he laughed a little. "I remember the first day we met."

She smiled despite her tear-filled eyes. "Me too… I thought Gideon was nuts hiring you. I couldn't believe it when you went off some tangent about something I can't remember. I thought you were weird."

He nodded. "I thought you were too beautiful to be in the FBI. I had a bit of a crush on you for a while. It's good that things turned out the way they did. But I never thought that you'd…"

His large chocolate eyes lost the rage he'd carried into the house. There was only pain and disappointment in their depths. She swallowed hard against the misery that wanted to well up in her throat because she helped put the sorrow in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Spence."

"I know you are. Aren't people always after they've hurt someone?"

They sat there staring at each other until a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away and stood up. "I'll go get Emily."

He nodded his assent as he looked away.

"Yeah, maybe you should do that."

* * *

><p>Emily paced her small bedroom. She wanted to go out again and see Reid, but he wasn't in town. Hotch wouldn't tell her where he'd gone. He had just said that Reid was somewhere safe taking a break from all of them. She sat down on the bed and sighed. All of this was her fault. She should've trusted the team with her fears. If she had none of this would be happening.<p>

A knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts. "Come in…"

The door opened to reveal JJ. The sight of her friend's face set her heart racing for reasons she couldn't say. "What is it JJ? What happened?"

"You have a visitor."

"I take it by your tone and your face that it isn't Hotch again." Her hands had started to shake, so she kept them behind her back and clasped together so tightly they ached.

"No… Reid's out front. He's here to see you."

All she could do was nod her assent. She followed JJ out the door and down the hall. The hallway seemed much longer than it should be, but also much shorter. She wanted to see him and she wanted to run away at the same time.

He sat on the couch alone when she walked into the room. His profile was the first thing she saw and her heart lurched. Weeks of waiting and wondering how he'd react to seeing her again, was over.

"Reid," She called out in a shaking voice.

He turned and stood up. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. He just stared at her with the expression of someone expecting a blow.

"Hello Emily," he said. "I guess the reports of your death were greatly exaggerated."


	15. Facing the Music Part Three

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks again to all my faithful readers. Once more I'm giving co writing props to my beta REIDFANATIC for all her invaluable contributions to this chapter. Please enjoy_**

**_Facing the Music Part Three _**

When he heard her voice for the first time in weeks, it was like a physical blow, like someone had punched him in the gut. He thought he was prepared to see her, but when he stood up and turned to face her, he lost the ability to breathe for a heartbeat. All the bravado he'd gained through rage and betrayal left him in the face of her beauty and the fact that she was alive and there in front of him. He was supposed to be a genius, overeducated with a large vocabulary. Funny that he couldn't think of anything to say except… "Hello Emily. I guess reports of your death were greatly exaggerated."

The minute he said it he kicked himself hard. Now was not the time for half-clever witticisms. It was the time for serious dialog. She'd betrayed them. She'd betrayed him and it was unacceptable. Now was the time to tell her so and move on.

"How are you?" Emily asked him.

She took a step toward him, but he felt his feet step back from her as though she might be wired to explode. She stopped and he was gratified to see hurt in her eyes. So, she was capable of regret. He'd wondered about that.

"Oh I'm just fine Emily. What reason could I possibly have for being less than stellar?" The hurt and rage flooded back like a tidal wave to give him strength for this impossible conversation.

"I'm going to leave you two alone." JJ said, but they didn't acknowledge her in any way.

"I'm sorry Reid I -"

He backed away another two steps until he ran into one of the armchairs that sat at a right angle to the couch. "I don't want to hear anymore apologies." He whispered as JJ left the room. "I'm sick to death of everyone saying they're sorry."

Emily's eyes flashed. "I didn't do what I did to hurt you Reid. I was trying to protect the only real family I have. He would have picked you off one by one if I had confided in you. He was watching all of us. What else was I supposed to do?"

"You've just demonstrated to me very clearly how little you know us. We would've done anything to keep you safe and neutralize Ian Doyle. _If_ you'd given us the chance."

"How was I supposed to believe that he wouldn't kill you Reid? He took out former Interpol agents with no problem. They knew what he was. We were trained to handle terrorists, but he was one step ahead of us all the way."

She began to unbutton her shirt and pull it open.

"What're you doing?" His voice raised three octaves in four words.

She closed the distance between them so fast that he stumbled and fell into the armchair he'd been leaning on.

"Look at this."

His eyes followed her fingers to a scar on her chest. It was in the shape of a shamrock and it resembled…

"Oh God…" He whispered. "He branded you."

"Yes…" Her voice broke just a little. "I have scars that'll never go away, that you can't see. I made the worst mistake you can make in deep cover."

"You cared about Declan." Reid said.

"Yes I did. I lost my objectivity." A tear tracked down her face. I hated what Ian Doyle stood for, which is why I took his son from him and made him think Declan was dead. I brought him down on us. It was my fault he came to DC. People are dead because of me Reid. I couldn't add your name, or Rossi, or Hotch, or Morgan, or Garcia, or JJ, or either of those two precious boys to his list of carnage. If you can't understand that, then I don't know what to tell you."

He rose and moved forward, "I'm not going to let you turn this around on me Emily." He said quietly. "I didn't lie to my family and betray them. That was you and JJ and Hotch's doing, not mine." He paused for a moment. "Maybe that brand," he pointed at her chest, "will forever remind you of your willingness to betray those you profess to love."

Emily's eyes opened wide and she gasped in pain and shock at his words and, this time, it was she who stepped back. She couldn't believe that Reid had said something so harsh. His words burned her as much the iron Ian Doyle had placed on her chest.

"Surprised Emily, hurt, well imagine how I feel, how all of us feel, about how the people around us have treated us. You, Hotch and JJ have schemed and lied and played with our emotions like they were nothing."

"Then what do we do. I want to make this up to all of you."

He stared at her like she'd begun to speak in some foreign tongue he'd never heard. "You can't make this up to me Emily. I thought you were dead." His voice rose again. "You can't just come back and say. I'm sorry and it's all better. I don't know if I can ever trust you again."

"Please let me try Reid."

He stood still as a marble statue in a museum. His eyes pinned to her face with all the concentration he was famous for when working a case. There was nothing of the pleading puppy in them. Instead, they reminded her of a shark's eyes, flat and cold, utterly without compassion.

"Should I let you try Emily? Should the team let you try to make it up to them?" He finally said, his tone very quiet and serious. "You're right… We should just welcome you back with open arms and pretend nothing happened. I suppose we should just act like your trained dogs, roll over and play dead. Oh…" He said as though just remembering something very important. "That's _your_ trick, not ours," he said his voice thick with sarcasm and disdain.

When tears welled up in Emily's eyes, he nearly lost his resolve to hang on to his anger. He'd never seen her even close to tears before, not even when she'd been the target of Cyrus' anger in Colorado. His stomach clenched tight and his hands fisted at the ends of his arms. He kept repeating in his head that this was not his fault. He hadn't lied to the team. He wasn't the one that made them all believe he was dead. So he clamped down hard on the desire to apologize and watched her stare at him for so long it felt like time had stopped.

Emily blinked against her tears, not allowing them to spill over on her face. Every word Reid said ripped into guts like some clawed animal trying to find something tasty in her to feast on with its sharp teeth. Nothing she'd thought of to say to him that might soften his anger toward her was going to work. She could see it in his eyes.

"Are you going to stand there and not say anything?" He demanded.

"I don't know what to say." She whispered honestly. "Anything I say to you won't fix any of this."

"No…" He agreed. "You can't say anything to make it better."

She nodded. "I truly am sorry for every moment of pain I've caused you Reid. I do care about -"

"Don't say it." He interrupted. "I don't believe you. You don't lie and deceive the people you love. You, JJ and Hotch made us believe you were dead. We trusted you and didn't question for one minute the truth of your little plan. Why would we question it? We've worked together for years. We waded through blood and tears together. We almost lost Garcia, and Hotch so when they said you were dead I just thought our luck had finally run out."

"Reid…"

"No!"

She flinched away from his shouting but he didn't care. "I've visited this house at least six times since you 'died," He spat out. "JJ watched me play with Henry. She listened to me talk about you and the good memories I had of you. She let me cry. All the time, she could've taken the pain away like that." He snapped his fingers and the sound was like a gunshot in the quiet house. "She didn't do it, not once."

He picked up his messenger bag. "I'm leaving. Call me when you are settled. Sergio belongs to you. I guess you'll want him back.

"Reid I -"

He shook his head and just walked out the door leaving her wondering if she'd ever see the light in his eyes when he looked at her.

* * *

><p>JJ stood up from the swing on the porch when Reid slammed the door to the house, "Spence?"<p>

"Don't," he held out a hand. "I don't want to talk to you JJ. I came here to say what I needed to say to Emily. I need both of you to stay away from me until I can decide if I can trust you again."

"I understand… I know how badly we hurt you -"

"You don't know how badly you hurt me." Reid spat. "The only people that know how badly you hurt me are the guys at Beltway Clean Cops. Every day we didn't have a case, I'd go to a meeting. They're the ones that heard my pain. They're the ones that helped me get through it. I was finally getting to the point that I could think back to the days we worked and laughed together without gut wrenching pain."

She reached out, "Spence…"

"Don't," He backed away from her. "I said I don't want to hear it."

He left her standing there staring at him and went to his car. He had to leave before Henry returned. He couldn't bear to see his little Godson with such anger in his heart for the boy's mother. He had to go home and try to make sense of all of this and try to put the pieces back together.

* * *

><p>He found Sergio on the bench in front of his keyboard when he opened the door to his apartment. The cat jumped down and ran over to him swishing his tail frantically. Reid dropped his bag and picked up his small friend. "Hey Sergio…" His voice cracked and broke as he took the cat to the couch.<p>

Sergio licked his chin while Reid scratched his head. "I don't know what to do." He said.

Sergio meowed and pushed his head into the space between Reid's neck and his shoulder.

"Do you think I'm being too hard on them?" He asked the cat. "When I saw Henry I couldn't help but think that Emily saved Declan from his father's life by making Ian Doyle think he was dead. She protected a child that wasn't hers because she cares. Then Doyle comes back and he threatens us. What if he decided to go after Henry or Jack to punish her? I can't imagine what she must have gone through thinking about that possibility. How can I judge her when she decided that protecting all of us was more important than the aftermath of her decision?"

Sergio stared at him with his bright eyes that seemed to hold more in their depths then Reid could understand.

"Am I being too hard on JJ and Emily because my dad left? Is my ability to trust people so skewed because of what happened to me as a kid?"

Sergio just stared at him and began to purr under the influence of Reid's scratching fingers.

"I don't know what to do next Sergio except that I'm gonna have to give you back to Emily. I don't want to though. You're my friend."

Sergio meowed and jumped out of Reid's arms. He ran into the kitchen. "Alright… I owe you a treat."

Reid stood up and followed the hungry feline to the kitchen. If the cat wanted a snack then maybe he should get one too and try to figure out what he was going to do.


	16. Wine, Cheese and Conversation

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n Just so you know, I'm not a fan of alcohol in any form. Everything in this chapter was researched on the internet. Also, many thanks to all my faithful readers and those who've added this to their favorites and alerts_**

**_Wine, Cheese and Conversation _**

Garcia grabbed at her phone when she heard Reid's ring tone. "Hey baby cakes."

"_Hi Garcia." _

She frowned at the obvious sadness in his voice.

"What's wrong?" Morgan mouthed from his seat in Garcia's easy chair.

Violet looked up from the other side of the couch where she sat working on her laptop, her face expectant. Garcia shook her head and got up to go down the hallway to her room. She shut the door for some privacy.

"What happened?" She asked seriously.

"_I went to see Emily." _

"Oh… I guess it would be silly to ask how it went."

He laughed bitterly. _"It wasn't the most fun I've ever had." _He said sarcastically.

"Oh honey… I'm so sorry. I know how much she hurt you."

"_No Garcia, you don't know how much she hurt me." _

"Reid… You're not the only one that was hurt in this affair." Garcia curled up in the glider rocker she'd purchased and refinished for the move. "Hotch, JJ and Emily, lied to all of us."

"_I know that Garcia. I just - oh, it doesn't matter. I don't know why I called you, except to hear a friendly voice." _

The pain in his voice cut at her core. No horror and blood they had seen in the last six years together had bowed him like Emily's 'death and resurrection.' She had to do something for all of them and she had the perfect idea.

"Morgan and I are coming over there. The three of us have someone to see."

"_I don't want to go anywhere Garcia." _

"If I didn't think this was the best way to begin to heal, I wouldn't ask."

"_Wow… you're asking instead of threatening my cyber life." _He said, a tiny bit of humor entering his tone. _"I don't know how to respond to that." _

"Just say yes. I promise you won't be sorry."

"_Alright, I say yes."_

She shut her phone and got up to go look for her shoes and speak to Morgan. She hoped that this next conversation would be the starting point of how to get through this mess and out the other side.

CMCMCM

"Are you sure this is a good idea baby-girl?" Morgan asked as they got out of his SUV and headed up the walkway to the front door. None of them had been to this particular house before so they were a bit stunned at the size of the place.

"Yes I'm sure… You know how calm he is when something like this happens. He's the only one that we can talk.

"Why does he live here instead of someplace smaller?" Garcia whispered as Morgan pushed the doorbell.

"I don't know."

"Guys…" Reid squeaked quietly. "Don't you think we should have called first?"

The beautifully stained oak door opened to reveal Rossi. Garcia noticed that he didn't seem surprised to seen them standing there. In fact, he appeared to have been expecting them.

"I'm surprised it took you so long to come here." He said, enforcing Garcia's opinion.

He led them inside the house and into an entryway with parquet wood floors that continued into a sitting room to their left.

Garcia held out the bottle of wine she had in her hands to Rossi. "Well… I'm impressed this is a very good year and pricey."

"It was Reid's idea. He paid for it despite me trying to talk him into something less expensive." Morgan said.

"Coho 2008 Headwaters Red wine from Napa Valley is very good. It has a deep purple color with hints of espresso, white chocolate, black cherries and figs. Besides, it wasn't that expensive."

"Well that explains, it then," Morgan grinned. "Of course the kid would like something with the taste of espresso."

They all laughed together for the first time in weeks, and it felt so good to Garcia. It was like the healing was beginning for all of them.

"Thanks kid… Why don't we open it and have a talk." Rossi gestured to chairs. "Just let me get some glasses. I think I have a good Ektori cheese and some crackers to go with it."

"What's Ektori Cheese?" Morgan hollered after Rossi.

"It's a cheese made from sheep's milk that goes very well with hearty red wines. Trust me," Reid said to Morgan. "You'll like it."

"I'll take your word for it kid."

Reid shrugged. "As you like."

"How did you get to know so much about wine and cheese?" Garcia asked as she made herself comfortable on Rossi's leather sofa.

Reid stood in front of a painting on Rossi's wall. A beautifully rendered still life of flowers and fruit matched the décor of the room. He turned around at Morgan's comment and just smiled the first either of them had seen in a long time. "Let's just say graduate school was an interesting experience and leave it at that."

"No way -" Morgan began.

"I'm surprised it too you all so long to show up on my doorstep." Rossi interrupted from the arched doorway to the entry hall. He carried four crystal wine glasses, cheese and a corkscrew on a matching crystal tray.

The three of them suddenly became very sober. "We're just having trouble adjusting." Garcia said softly.

"What she means is that we're all pissed off." Reid said irritably.

Rossi's eyebrows climbed into his forehead. "I can see that."

Reid went to one of the matching chairs across the coffee table and plopped down crossing his arms over his chest like an indignant child. "Why are you so calm?"

"Reid," Garcia admonished.

"It's okay kitten. Reid has a right to be upset, we all do. How do you handle three of your closets friends, or in our case family, betraying you like this? The answer is you don't handle it."

He set the tray on the coffee table and set about uncorking the wine. He left it to breathe and sat back on the couch.

"But we have to do something." Morgan had begun to pace. "Garcia and Emily talked to each other. They came to an understanding."

"What was I supposed to do Derek, hate her for ever? Am I supposed to pace around and growl like an angry wolf like you?"

"They lied to us Garcia!"

"I know that Morgan. I can't be mad forever." She got to her feet and blocked his path. "I can't hold onto a grudge like you men."

"Hey," Reid jumped to his feet. "She was supposed to trust us." He shouted. "All of them were supposed to be our family. You don't treat you family like that."

Garcia suddenly burst into tears. "Stop it." She cried. "I can't deal with this.

"She's right… If we let them turn us on each other then it's over." Rossi said quietly. "We have to find a way to call a truce on this and restore trust."

"I don't want to." Reid said.

Three pairs of eyes turned on him, but he didn't flinch. "I don't want to." He repeated. "I'm sick of trusting someone and getting it thrown in my face."

"Sweetie…" Garcia went to Reid and put a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't -"

He pulled away from her and stood up. "I don't need a lecture Garcia."

"That's not what she was trying to do." Morgan bristled.

"I'm not afraid of you Morgan."

"Please stop!" Garcia screamed.

Morgan wrapped her up in his arms. "Reid I am warning you."

Reid shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever Morgan… Do what you think you have to do. I don't care anymore."

Rossi didn't speak until Morgan and Garcia went back to the couch. "You see this is what I mean. We're letting this rip us apart."

"Rossi, we're not letting them do anything. It was Hotch and JJ that -"

Rossi held up his hand to stop Reid. "Please let me finish."

Garcia sat with her head on Morgan's shoulder her eyes on Rossi. Morgan stroked his fingers through her hair, his angry eyes on Reid, who ignored both of them in favor of staring at the glass coffee table.

"When I was asked to join a new bureau at the FBI in '86 it wasn't like it is now. We worked alone. We didn't have jets, or a fancy bullpen. We functioned as individuals. We didn't form bonds with each other. I liked it that way. I was more comfortable forming my own conclusions without the input of other people.

When I came back out of retirement I wasn't the most sharing or helpful person. You all know that and Hotch was the one that called me on the carpet about it. He made me see that I needed to trust the members of my team in order to function."

"What are you telling us this?" Reid asked.

"Because I don't want to go back to working alone. I like the family I have now. I'll do whatever it takes to make it right. I think that's what you all want too."

None of them spoke for a very long time. Rossi poured out wine for them and offered cheese. Everyone except Morgan tasted the cheese. Reid finally broke the silence.

"What do you think we should do?" He directed his question to Rossi.

"I can't speak for the rest of you, but I plan on having a conversation with Hotch."

"You're not the only one." Morgan agreed.

"He's still your boss Morgan."

"I know that Rossi."

"I'm just saying you need to tread carefully."

"He's right," Reid said. "We can't just barge into his office and start screaming. It's funny…"

Morgan shifted in his chair. "What's funny?"

"We're a family, and we're friends, but we still have the employer-employee relationship to deal with not to mention the FBI code of conduct for agents. We have to find a way around all of that."

"We have to go back to the beginning." Rossi said. "We'll say our piece and then we just have to go back to the time when we were all new to this job and regain that trust."

"How do we do that when we know what Hotch and Emily are capable of now." Garcia asked.

"We're just going to have to play it by ear. It's all we can do. We're all profilers, except for Garcia. We'll just have to use that to our advantage for awhile."

"What about the moratorium on profiling each other?" Reid asked.

"I think at this point, that's out the window for the foreseeable future."

They sipped at their wine while thinking about what Rossi suggested. "Alright Rossi, we'll let you handle it with Hotch." Morgan agreed.

Garcia glanced over at Reid who was looking at her. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "At least we still have each other." He said.

"Yes," Garcia agreed over the rim of her glass. "We still have each other."

"Don't worry…" Rossi said. "I have an idea about dealing with Hotch that I think you'll like."


	17. Daydreams Versus Reality

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thank you all for your reviews and kind support. More thanks to my beta REIDFANATIC for her contributions this chapter. Please enjoy. _**

**_Daydreams versus Reality _**

Violet lay on her bed with her feet pointing in the direction of her headboard. She wore her headphones and watched one of her favorite movies on the portable DVD player Garcia had given to her. She hummed along with the soundtrack as the hero of the movie fought a sword battle with one of the bad guys.

As the music soared in her ears, she shut her eyes and imagined that the hero of the movie was Spencer Reid and that she was the beautiful princess he loved. The fight was terrible, but Spencer left the cowardly villain alive with his disgrace. Then he rode off with his loyal sidekick to find a way to end the curse placed on him and the princess, by an evil bishop.

She opened her eyes and watched the screen. The hero was traveling with his companion and a beautiful hawk that was his ladylove during the day. The hero was a wolf at night. They were always together, but they could never truly be happy until the curse was broken.

She closed her eyes again and thought of her and Spencer under a curse. She wouldn't want to be a hawk though. Birds are okay, but she'd rather be a black cat like a panther. She thought Spencer would want to be something less mean than a wolf, like a stag or something or maybe a wise owl.

"Violet…"

Her eyes snapped open to see Penelope in the doorway.

"Hi…" She hoped she wasn't blushing. Talk about completely humiliating. "How was your meeting with Agent Rossi?"

"Yeah, it was fine. I'm sorry to leave you alone though."

Violet rolled her eyes. "It's okay. It was only for a couple of hours."

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Yeah… I got everything done."

Garcia sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you sure everything is okay? You've been kind of in your own world."

Violet looked at the ceiling instead of at Penelope. "I'm fine. I was thinking about school." She lied.

"Is everything alright there?"

"Yeah… I'm just glad it's going to be over for the year in a few weeks. Did you like school?" She asked suddenly.

"I didn't like high school. I was always kind of a geek. I dropped out of college to go underground when my folks died. I'm not really into school like Reid. He keeps working on bachelor degrees. I don't get it."

Violet's ears perked up. She looked over at Garcia. "How many degrees does he have?"

"At last count, I think it's eleven. He's working on two more, I think."

"Wow… He must really like school."

"He does… I guess it takes all kinds." She laughed. "Now… Why don't we decide what we're going to have for dinner?"

Violet wanted to ask more questions about Dr. Reid, but she didn't dare because no one knew that she liked him and she wanted to keep it that way. It would be so embarrassing if anyone in her new family knew about it. She couldn't handle that. She turned off her movie and went to help Penelope. The daydreams would have to wait for a while.

* * *

><p>When Violet woke up the next morning, Sergio was sitting in the chair in her room. "Hello… When did you come?" She asked.<p>

The cat leaped off the chair and ran over to the bed. He sat on his hunches and looked up at her. She reached down with one hand and scratched his head. He meowed and batted a paw at her hand. "I'll bet your hungry."

She sat up, yawned and got out of bed. Sergio ran out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. Penelope was up making some eggs and sausage, "Hi Penelope."

"I see Sergio woke you. Reid brought him here just a few minutes ago. The team has a case in Oregon. They're on their way right now, but I wanted to make breakfast for you before I have to go in. You'll have to ride the bus to school today."

"Do I have to?"

"I don't have time to drop you off today."

Violet crossed her arms over her chest. "I guess its okay."

Garcia smirked at her put out tone. "You can stay at Marcie's today. I spoke with her mother and she said she'd love to have you stay for dinner if you like."

"When are you going to come home?"

"Don't worry my dove. I'll come pick you up as soon as I can. I'm not going to stay in the office until all hours like I used to. I think from now on Hotch and I will have an understanding."

"What do you mean by that?" Violet asked. "Are you guys still mad at him?"

Garcia sighed. "It's complicated."

"I'm not a little kid. You can tell me." Violet persisted, while stroking Sergio's head.

"It's hard to trust someone when they told you such a huge lie."

"I get it," Violet said. "I just want you to be happy."

Garcia leaned over and hugged her tight. "I am happy. I have you, Morgan, and my friends. Emily is back and one of these days, we'll trust each other again, but I don't think it'll ever be the same. Now…" She patted Violet's leg. "I'm going to be late if we don't hurry."

* * *

><p>Violet pulled on a pair of light grey jeans with her blue shirt. Sergio sat on her unmade bed washing his face. She went to her desk, picked up her laptop top, and backpack.<p>

"Sergio… Do you think Spencer's okay?"

The cat just stared at her.

"I bet he's really mad. It was a mean thing they did to him and Penelope."

Sergio began to wash again while she packed up the rest of her books into her book bag. "Oh no…" Violet said. "I just thought that maybe Spencer will have to give you back to Emily. Do you want to go back to her?"

Sergio jumped down and hurried over to where Violet stood in front of the mirror. He jumped up on the desk and pushed his head into Violet's right side.

"I'm not sure how to take that response." She said. "I don't want you to go back there because then you probably won't come over here. Penelope said that Emily had a friend to look after you when she was gone. I won't see Spencer very much anymore." She frowned. "I wish she hadn't come back. It's not fair."

Sergio meowed and jumped down to the floor. He ran out of the room leaving Violet staring in the mirror. Tears welled up in her eyes and she began to cry.

"Violet?"

"Um yeah," she hastily wiped her eyes and her nose. "I'm coming." She'd die if Penelope saw her crying and she had to say why. It was just too embarrassing.

* * *

><p>"I'm over here." Garcia gestured to JJ and Emily.<p>

She sat in a booth at the back of Starbucks with a coffee and a chocolate chip muffin. The other girls joined her at the booth with their snacks. It was Saturday morning and they were on the edge of Emily returning to work the next week.

"Hey PG," Emily said. "It's good to see you."

"Thanks." She pushed up her blue frame glasses and tried to smile up at her… what were they now, family, and friends? "It's good to see you too."

"I'm intrigued that you're out this early on a Saturday morning."

"I couldn't sleep so I thought we could meet," she paused for a moment, "and see how it goes." No one said anything and she continued. "I have a problem and an idea and I need some feedback. I used to be able to count on you for that before…" The table drifted into silence once again.

JJ took in Garcia's dark blue blouse, her yellow slacks and her strained expression.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know… I could be making something out of nothing, but I think something's wrong with Violet."

"Are you sure it's not her mom." JJ asked.

Penelope nodded and took a sip from her coffee. "She has bad dreams, but they're not like they used to be. She talks about her mom sometimes and when she does, it makes her sad, but not like she was the other morning."

"What happened the other morning?" Emily asked, flipping her hair back over her shoulder.

"Nothing… Reid brought Sergio over to stay with us like he always does when you go out of town. She was happy to see him. Then I took her to school and I could see she'd been crying. She wouldn't tell me why and she won't talk about it."

JJ pulled her blueberry muffin in half and bit into it thoughtfully while Emily played with her napkin. "I don't know what to tell you." She finally said. "It's tough when your mother doesn't care about you. It has to be hard to lose that person, and then move in with someone you don't know and start over. No offense," she smiled at Garcia.

"None taken, I get what you're saying, but I don't think it has anything to do with losing her mother. I think something might be wrong at school. Maybe I should hack into her records and -"

"You don't want to do that." JJ said. "She needs you to be her guardian, not a meddler in her life."

"If I'd meddled then we wouldn't be in our situation." Garcia argued.

Emily bit into the cookie she'd bought with her coffee and didn't look her friend in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean that the way it came out." Garcia said.

"I told you its okay," JJ said. "We deserve it."

"You should try to talk to her again." Emily said. "Just don't accuse her of anything or lay down the law."

"In other words, don't talk to her like your mom talked to you." JJ said.

Emily nodded. "She never cared what I was doing unless it was the wrong thing and then I would get lectures and threats. I hated her when I was a teenager. I got over it mostly, but I still wish that she'd been more of a friend instead of a dictator. I know that parents have to have rules, but she never gave me a break."

"You turned out great despite all that." JJ said.

Emily began to feel that it was possible she could have her family and friends back. If only she could get through to Reid.

"What are you thinking?" JJ asked.

"It's nothing."

"I think it has to do with a certain genius." Garcia said.

Emily kept her eyes on the remains of the white chocolate and macadamia nut cookie she'd bought to go with her latte.

"He hates me." She said. "I don't know what to do about it."

"You gotta give him some time." Garcia said. "He'll come around. I happen to know he really cares about you."

"Of course he does," Emily hedged. "He cares about all of us. We're a family, or we used to be a family."

JJ and Garcia looked at each other. "I think it's more than that." JJ said. "I saw how he reacted to your death. He was completely broken up. He loves you Emily."

"No he doesn't, not anymore and I don't blame him. I don't want to talk about it." She insisted.

"Alright, we won't talk about it." JJ said, cutting off Garcia who was about to speak. "You said you had an idea." She directed at Garcia.

"Actually, it's something Rossi came up with. I told him I'd give you a heads up."

JJ sat back with her hands behind her head. "Then by all means, tell us."


	18. Confronting Hotch, Part One

**_Disclaimer: See my profile_**

**_A/n hey all here's the next chapter. Thank you all for your patience as I know you've been waiting for the resolution to begin. Here it is! Thanks to all for your reviews. _**

**_Confronting Hotch, Part One _**

Rossi knocked on Hotch's office door, and then entered before the Unit Chief responded. Hotch did not respond to Rossi for several seconds. His head was bent over files on his desk and his pen scratched audibly as he signed off on reports and filled out paperwork. Rossi waited patiently, taking one of the chairs across from Hotch's desk.

Hotch finally glanced up from his paperwork after Rossi coughed into his hand. "Alright Dave, what can I do for you?" His deep, dark eyes were as hard and grim as Dave had ever seen.

"I'm here on behalf of the team." Rossi said.

Hotch's eyebrows went up. "Go on…"

"I spoke to the rest of the team. They asked me to request a summit, of sorts, with you."

Hotch didn't speak or move nor did his eyes show any hint of what might be behind them. Rossi settled back comfortably in his chair, feeling the unspoken challenge for the unit chief thicken the atmosphere of the office. He decided to wait…

"David," Hotch let impatience taint his tone which made Rossi very happy in petulant sort of way. "Are we going to stare at each other all day, or are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

"The kids," Rossi replied with a smirk, "would like their say on this… situation with Emily without repercussions."

Hotch lifted his eyebrows and Rossi thought there was a hint of humor in them before the walls slammed back into place with an almost audible thud. "They would?"

"Yes… I think it's a good idea to get everything out into the open. We'll never trust each other again unless we do and you know it."

"Are you sure this was _their_ idea?"

"Are you asking me if I used them to express my own displeasure with the way you handled this debacle?"

"Agent Rossi…"

Rossi's smile vanished. "I don't like your tone Aaron. You deceived all of us with the help of Emily, JJ and the resources of the DOD. You convinced us all the Emily was dead, killed by one of the most dangerous terrorists in the world."

"It had to be done. You know as well as I do that he would have come after all of us unless he believed her to be dead. The only reason he kept her alive was to torture her and take away her family."

"I don't need a recap," Rossi exclaimed. "What you did doesn't annoy me so much as how you acted afterward. You brought all of us in here for reviews to determine how we were dealing with Emily's death. I know you're a cold hearted bastard Aaron, but I never imagined that you be so stone cold you'd sit here and listen to us grieve and watch us cry. If I didn't know any better I'd think you got some kind of sadistic pleasure out of it."

"Watch yourself David," Hotch warned his face granite stone.

"That tone might work on the rest of the team, but it doesn't bother me. I know that deep down inside you has a good heart. I've seen you with your son and I know how you used to be with Haley -"

"Stop!"

Rossi smiled. "Oh… Did I hit a nerve? I watched you suffer through losing Haley. How could you put the rest of us through it?"

Hotch's face twisted the tiniest bit. "It's not the same thing and you _know_ it."

"Isn't it? We all loved her. We were a family. You think it was okay to do what you did because we just worked together?"

"No… I didn't think that at all. I did what I thought was best for everyone. I'm not going to back down from that whether you like it or not."

"You know I respect you more than anyone else I've ever known, but right now I don't like you very much."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Rossi stood up. "Are you willing to meet with the rest of the team and hear them out, not as a boss, but as a friend and a member of this odd little family?"

Hotch nodded. "David?"

"Yes."

"Don't ever come in here and talk to me like that again. Like you, I have my own contacts here."

Rossi smirked at his boss. "Don't ever pull a stunt like that again and I won't have to come in here and talk to you like this."

He turned and left the office closing the door softly behind him and leaving Hotch with a very slight smile.

* * *

><p>Reid paced the length of Rossi's back porch with a bottle of water in his hand instead of coffee. Rossi had refused to pour him a cup when Reid had arrived half an hour before the rest of the team. Instead, he'd gone to his fridge and tossed Reid the water.<p>

"You need caffeine about as much as I need to get married again." Rossi had informed him.

There wasn't too much Reid could say to that, so he'd taken the water when he'd wanted the coffee. He'd followed his host to the porch and there they were waiting for the others.

He followed the zigzag patterns of river rock that made up the guest area of the backyard. His eyes noticed that there was a pattern to the way someone had laid the stones that was subtle and appealing. He liked the gold and the copper shades in the rocks and how smooth they felt under his feet.

"Reid…"

He glanced up from his perusal of the stones to see Rossi sitting in one of the chairs around a small porch table.

"Hmm…"

"You're pacing, you didn't fight me when I denied you coffee and now your staring at those river rocks like they might suddenly stand up and walk away. You never turn in like this unless you're very upset."

"And there's no reason why I should be upset," Reid responded sarcastically. "Betrayal happens every day. Why should I be any different?"

Rossi's unperturbed expression only irritated Reid further. How could Rossi stay so calm when their world was irrevocably changed? This wasn't just a little fight they'd had over procedure or a profile. It was a profound betrayal. Why couldn't he see that?

"I understand the gravity and scope of this situation. I'm not trying to make light of it."

"You don't look like you're in the least bit concerned."

Rossi gestured to Reid. "Come over here and sit down."

"I don't want to sit down. I want this to be over so I can go home and try to figure out how to get past it."

"_Sit_ down Reid, please."

Reid sat down because it was stupid to stand just to irritate Rossi. He was tired of pacing and his team would be arriving at any moment. He refused to let Hotch see him pacing around like a caged tiger ready to spring at the least provocation.

"Thank you." Rossi said. "Now why don't you tell me what's really bothering you."

Reid began playing with the half-empty bottle of water in his hand. He kept his eyes on the wrought iron tabletop instead of meeting Rossi's gaze. "I don't have anything to say." He muttered.

"I think you do."

"Don't tell me talking will make me feel better because I know better. People always say that because it makes them feel better, when you spill your guts because then they know something you didn't want them to know. It's voyeurism, plain and simple."

"A very good attempt at distraction Reid, Why did you come here so early if you didn't want to talk to me before the others arrived?"

"I couldn't sleep last night so I decided to come over here early. If I'd known it was going to be a problem -"

Rossi smirked at Reid as the younger man twisted the water bottle in his hands. "Don't try to hose me Reid. I know you."

Reid got up and walked to the edge of the patio where green grass, trees and some colorful flowers ranged across the back of the property.

"I saw how you reacted to the news of her death." Rossi said calmly.

"We were all upset." Reid said.

"Yes… We were all upset." Rossi finally left his seat and walked up to stand next to Reid. "They say the eyes are the window to your soul. In your case, I'd say that's one hundred percent true."

Reid lifted his water and began to chug it down like he was dying of thirst. He choked and began to cough and splutter. Rossi slapped him on the back. "Take it easy Spencer."

Reid wiped his mouth and tears from his eyes. He went back to the table and sat down. One of his legs began to shake up and down on the stones as he stared at the table. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright… I'm sorry I upset you."

Reid's foot stopped shaking. "You didn't upset me. Can we just sit here and talk about something else until the other get here?"

"Sure kid."

Rossi joined him at the table just as his new housekeeper came out on the porch. "Mr. Rossi, Mr. Hotchner is here to see you."

"Thanks Gloria, please show him out here."

Reid watched Gloria reenter the house. His heart started pounding. Even though they'd had some cases together since Emily had come home, he hadn't really spoken to Hotch about anything but work.

The door slid open once more admitting Hotch to the porch. Reid suddenly knew why writers described people's mouth's hanging open in surprise. He felt like his mouth was trying to drop open at the sight of Hotch in a faded pair of blue jeans, a white tee shirt and running shoes.

"Hello Reid." He said and he even smiled a little.

"Hi Hotch," He squeaked.

"Where is everyone?" Hotch asked Rossi.

"They'll be here soon."

Reid and Rossi had got to their feet so that the three of them, stood like three sides to a triangle in the overcast sunlight of the late spring day. No one spoke until Gloria came back with Morgan, JJ and Emily. Garcia arrived right behind the rest.

"So…" Rossi said. "Who wants to talk first?"


	19. Confronting Hotch, Part Two

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thank you all for your kind reviews and support. Many thanks to REIDFANATIC for being my excellent beta for contributing so much to this chapter. You rock my friend!_**

**_Confronting Hotch, Part Two _**

Reid and Rossi had gotten to their feet so that the three of them, stood like three sides to a triangle in the overcast sunlight of the late spring day. No one spoke until Gloria came back with Morgan, JJ and Emily. Garcia arrived right behind the rest.

"So…" Rossi said. "Who wants to talk first?"

Everyone went as still as statues at Rossi's question. It was so quiet Emily thought she could hear the angels falling off the head of a pin. She couldn't help her eyes flicking over to look at Reid. He stood as stiff as she'd ever seen with his hands fisted at his side. The urge to go to him, take one of his hands, and hold it was so strong she actually started to take a step when he began to speak.

"Nearly one hundred percent of all large corporations in America have some kind of open door policy. They claim their low level and mid level employees are welcome to speak their minds without fear of retribution. I've never worked in a free market job so I don't know if that works, but knowing human nature the way I do, I'd say speaking freely to a manager will earn you some kind of retribution."

"What are you trying to say Reid?" Hotch asked.

He stood apart from the rest of the team as though they were in the conference room and he was at the head of the table waiting for JJ to present the next case.

"I'm saying that the FBI doesn't have a policy like that. Agents are expected to follow orders without question or they could be injured, or injure innocent people. You're always encouraging the team to speak freely. I'm just wondering if you'll honor that now or if all of this is for show."

"I agreed to this Reid." Hotch reminded him.

"Yes… You agreed to this, but look at your body language. You're standing like a soldier on parade at the head of an invisible round table. You're still the boss. Just because you took off your tie doesn't mean you'll hear us out and not hold it against us."

"I agreed to this." Hotch said. "Because I feel it's the best way to begin to heal the team.

"The fact is that I don't trust you." Reid said. "You lied to me and to my friends. You, JJ and Emily betrayed us with a huge lie. Right now, I'm not sure I want to trust you again because what will you do, the next time something like this happens."

"It's not going to happen again Spence." JJ spoke up. "This was a one in a million circumstance."

"Actually the odds of this precise circumstance repeating itself are more like one in a hundred million. Emily's already beaten those odds twice, so I'd say anything is possible at this point."

Emily flinched at the irritation in his eyes and the sarcasm in his tone. She tried to maintain eye contact with him, but she couldn't take the coolness in his chocolate eyes.

"For once, I agree with Reid's statistics." Morgan said.

"Derek!"

Morgan directed his words to JJ rather than Garcia, who held his hand. "I understand better than you think that sometimes a lie is better than the truth." His eyes flicked to Hotch. "I did the same thing to my aunt. I had to make her believe we'd found my cousin so she could move on. It's not Emily's death that bothers me anymore. What I don't like is that fundamentally Hotch, JJ and Emily don't trust us. If they had, all of this could have been avoided."

"That's not true and you know it." Emily began. "I trust all of you with my life. I -"

"You lied to us."

"We just wanted to help you…"

"Why couldn't you ask for help?"

"How could you do this to us? You didn't trust us…

Everyone spoke at the same time and over each other so that no one could understand what was said.

"Guys…" They all looked up to see Reid standing there at the edge of the circle that had formed around Hotch. "Stop it! This isn't going to solve anything."

"Reid," Morgan began. "I don't think -"

"You all want to clear the air then let's clear the air." He said, rage building in his eyes. "You lied to us Emily and then Hotch and JJ let us think you were dead. Hotch even sat us all down one by one to see how we were dealing with your fake death. I think you're a sadistic bastard." He said to Hotch bluntly. "You're a bully and you don't care how you hurt other people. How can I ever trust you again?"

"Reid's right… I never believed that you could just betray us like that without blinking an eye Hotch, especially after what happened to Haley." Morgan said.

"Morgan," Garcia gasped. "It's not the same thing."

"No… It's not the same thing." Rossi agreed. "We saw the trouble coming with Haley and the Reaper still out-thought all of us."

"I can't believe you're taking their side." Morgan shouted.

"I'm not taking sides. I'm just saying that even if Emily had been honest with us, who knows if we could have neutralized Doyle before he killed one or all of us."

The silence that fell over them was like the inside of a cathedral on an early Sunday morning. Emily couldn't take her eyes off Reid even though he wouldn't look at any of them. For the first time since she was a very small child, she nearly lost her composure in front of other people. She bit down on the inside of her cheek and rapidly blinked her eyes.

"What are we going to do?" Reid asked quietly.

Everyone turned their eyes to him. He met Hotch's eyes and then JJ's then his eyes flicked to Emily and something in them sent her heart rate back into overdrive.

"I'm only interested in if you want to continue as a team." Hotch asked.

He moved to the low, stone wall at the east end of Rossi's property and leaned against it with his arms crossed.

"Yes…" Reid said. "But how do we do that Hotch, huh? How can we do that when half of us don't trust the other half? You have to trust the people in the field with you. You have to know they're going to have your back. I'm not sure of that like I once was.

"We take it one day at a time, one step at a time Reid," Hotch replied.

"I hope I can speak for everyone that we want to fix this and be a team." Garcia commented, a pleading tone to her voice.

"I think we do, but there will have to be some ground rules from now one. The next time someone tells me one of you is dead, I'll insist on seeing your body." Rossi said seriously.

"David!"

"Don't take that tone with me Aaron. You don't get blanket trust anymore."

Hotch stood up straight again, his eyes going cold. "I don't expect it."

"Good."

"Are we okay?" Garcia wanted to know.

"Not now, but we will be," JJ said.

The others nodded, but it was the uneasy peace of people thrown in together that didn't know where else to go or what to do. Emily watched everyone sizing her up and it was a challenge not to wonder what they were thinking or how to respond to it.

"JJ is right," Rossi said.

"This brings me to our next problem." Hoch said. "JJ has asked to return to the BAU and I've signed off on it."

"What?"

"How can you just ask to come back?

"I thought the DOD made you leave us and it was out of even Strauss's hands."

"What the hell?"

Everyone began shouting over each other until Morgan whistled for their attention. Emily winced at the piercing sound and glared at him.

"Don't you think we should listen," he said. "We all agreed to this."

"Since when are you the voice of reason," Rossi said.

"Since I did the same thing Hotch, JJ and Emily did. Let's give him a chance."

Everyone turned their eyes on JJ again. "I can't tell you about the DOD or why they let me come back to the BAU. It's top secret and need to know."

Reid found himself actually laughing, although there was only sarcasm and disdain in its depths, "Never mind JJ, according to you, Hotch and Emily, there's very little you feel the rest of us have the right or need to know.

"Spence, I…" JJ stepped forward but Reid turned his back and walked away

"Why don't we all sit down and have something to eat. All of this will go down easier on a full stomach."

"He's right about that," Reid said. "Low blood sugar causes irritability, fatigue, repetition in thought and speech -"

"We get it kid." Morgan interrupted exasperatedly.

The others laughed, but the peace of their gathering was tenuous at best. Emily still wondered what was going to happen now that they were all together again.

* * *

><p>Emily waited until everyone left Rossi's house except for Reid. He sat at the edge of the patio with his chin on one hand bent over like an old man. His left foot tapped the stone and he stared into something only he could see.<p>

Rossi had disappeared into the house without telling anyone and Emily wondered if he sensed something. She nearly slapped her own head. Of course, he sensed something, he was an excellent profiler, and he could sense tension five miles away going in the other direction.

"Reid…"

She ghosted up to his side in the fading light of sunset. She shivered a bit in her short-sleeved red blouse and not necessarily from the cool air.

"What Emily," he mumbled.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'm not stopping you."

She clamped down hard on the urge to grab him and shake him like a kitten in the mouth of jealous Tomcat.

"I wanted to apologize to you again. I'm sorry for what I did."

Reid glanced up at her without moving his head. The extreme angle of his eyes made him resemble a small child about to be scolded by an angry parent. She wanted to insist that he stop looking at her like that.

"What do you want Emily?"

"I just wanted to say that I thought about you every day I was in Europe. Are you still having those bad headaches?" She grabbed one of Rossi's chairs and pulled it over to sit in front of Reid.

"Emily," he said softy, "I don't think that's any of your business. I shared that with you once, trusted you with it, and look where it got me. I know how little someone's trust means to you now. Believe me, it'll be a cold day in hell before I ever trust you with something like that again. You know what helps me most right now Emily?" She shook her head. "Sergio, whether he's happy with me or pissed, he's always there and I can, at least, count on the truth in his actions, whatever they are. He's kind of the lucky one in all this. He'll just think you've been away on a vacation. He won't have any idea that he's been betrayed by the person he trusted most."

Emily bit back an angry retort and swallowed. "Thanks for taking care of him. I hope he wasn't too much of a pain in the ass."

"No… He's great. In fact, I really need to give him back to you. He belongs to you."

"You don't have to do that Reid." She reached out and touched his right hand.

He flinched, yanking his hand away from her touch. She swallowed back more tears and managed to smile instead of growl at him.

"I'll bring him over to you when you get into your new place. Just give me the address."

He got up and turned for the door. "Reid… Please wait."

"I really have to go. Please let me know when you want me to bring Sergio over." He said. "See you at work.

She stood there staring at the sliding glass door of Rossi's porch until her host came back out on the porch.

"I take it from your expression, your attempt at honesty with Reid didn't go well."


	20. The First Step

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n thanks for all your support and reviews. You've all been exceptionally patient with me on a resolution so please enjoy this next chapter. Once again, many thanks to my fabulous beta for all her help and support._**

**_The First Step _**

Every chair in the meeting hall was taken. Instead of making him feel closed in as crowds often did in his everyday life, this group of men and women had a calming effect on his soul. They knew the challenges that he faced every minute of every day and yet they didn't judge him for his weaknesses.

He took the last chair at the middle of the pack on the end of the row next to a DC Metro detective by the name of Arthur Louis. Everyone in Beltway Clean Cops called him Art. Reid always thought he resembled a scarecrow in a cornfield. He was even thinner than Reid was with long limbs, long fingers, and a long oval shaped face. Everyone dismissed him as a twig they could break with the right pressure, but Reid new better than that. Art had saved a classroom full of schoolchildren from a drunken father that wanted custody of his daughter. He'd received all the accolades deserved by a cop in his position. No one had faulted him for killing the gun wielding man. He, however, had blamed himself for a long time because even though he'd saved the children, he couldn't save his partner from a bullet. It had been her death that had sent him down into a spiral of self-destruction with alcohol and cocaine. He'd been riding a desk and had been on his way out the door when he'd found the BCC.

"Hey Spencer," Art greeted with his usual bright smile. "We've missed seeing you around."

He had dark eyes like Hotch, but they smiled instead of glowered. His shock of black hair was the most abundant thing about him. It was almost as if the hair sucked all the vitality from his bones.

"Hey Art," Spencer greeted in a low voice because the meeting was about to begin. "I'll talk to you afterward."

Art nodded and the meeting began. When it came time for the first person to stand, Reid beat them all to their feet. "Hello…" He greeted. "My name is Spencer…"

He related to them the recent events of the last few weeks, not holding anything back. It felt good to get all of it off his chest, to friends outside the betrayal. His heart began to grow lighter and his headache finally backed off just a bit.

After the meeting ended, Art, Spencer and another police officer called Bruce gathered in one corner of the room drinking cups of coffee and talking.

"So Spencer, are you going to tell us what's really on your mind?" Bruce asked.

Reid shrugged. "I told you what happened. Emily was dead and you guys were helping me get through it along with my friends and a very stubborn cat. Now she's alive and I feel like my world is upside down. How am I supposed to trust her, Hotch and JJ ever again?"

Bruce flicked his gaze over to Art. "You're lucky." Art said.

"How do you figure that?" Reid said feeling a little irritated with his friends. They couldn't possibly know how it felt to be betrayed in such a way.

"I'd give anything to have Gretchen back again." Art said. "She wasn't just my partner. She was my best friend, my lover, my entire world, but I couldn't save her. I'd give up everything, even my life, if I could have one more moment with her. "

Reid found that he couldn't respond to Art's declaration in any way that wouldn't sound trite or just plain argumentative. At that moment, the lock on his emotions began to crack. Art was right… Emily was alive. He and the team had been granted another chance to have Emily in their lives.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I didn't think -"

"It's okay," Art placed an arm around his shoulders. "I should be the one apologizing for my preachy tone. If there's one thing being an alcoholic has taught me, is personal responsibility. It's not my place to insist that you take the same view on life that I do."

"Art, you don't have to say it. I understand what you're trying to tell me. I appreciate it."

"You have another chance Spencer. Don't let it go by."

Reid nodded, clamping down on more irritation, but this time, it was with himself, because Art was right.

"I don't think I'm really that angry with Emily anymore," he said truthfully. "I just don't know how to get past what Hotch and JJ did."

"I don't want to gang up on you Spencer, but I've had friends in deep cover. I know about the kinds of lies they have to tell to the people they love and trust more than their own lives. It's not easy but it has to be done for the protection of the officer and in some cases, their families."

It was strange how your emotions could cloud your judgment. Even with his intellect and his devotion to statistics and facts, he'd let emotions rule his head and heart. He knew that Morgan had done undercover work, but he hadn't considered those with what happened to Emily. How could he have ignored all that he knew about the people that risked their lives to take down some of the most evil? What if JJ or Hotch had told him about Emily? Could he have been trusted with that knowledge? What if he forgot for one moment to play the part? What if he smiled at the wrong time, or said something that Doyle or one of his men overheard. It could have meant that Emily would be killed for real.

The knowledge of that suddenly hit him like a brick. His heart leapt up into his chest and he couldn't breathe for long minute.

"Hey Spencer… Are you okay?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah… I'm just going to go take care of something important."

"Are you sure?" Art said. "We're sorry if we made you feel badly about your situation."

Reid managed a smile for the men. "It's okay, really, I just need to go."

* * *

><p>Emily opened the zipper on her suitcase. It was the only thing she had to unpack in her new apartment and she meant to take it as slowly as possible. All of her belongings from her old apartment had been placed in storage by Hotch. It was perversely funny to think that he'd paid for storage, just like he somehow knew she'd come back. She laughed wryly and began removing folded clothing from her bag, taking folded shirts and blouses out first. The movers weren't due for another three hours and there was nothing to do until they did bring her belongings. She laughed again to think of the lies Hotch must have told Rocky to get him to let Hotch pack up her stuff and take it away.<p>

At least she could hang up some of her stuff in the closet. She shook out one blouse and discovered that she didn't have any hangers. She suddenly felt like crying. After everything she'd been through in the last six months, no hangers were the last straw. She slid down the wall and began to sob like she never did when there was someone there to see it.

She yanked her hair in utter frustration when someone rang her doorbell. She couldn't even have a meltdown without someone destroying her hard won privacy. She surged up to her feet and stalked out of the bedroom, her hands fisted at her sides. She'd give the person on the other side of the door a piece of her mind and then she could sit and wallow till the movers showed up.

"Look… I'm in no mood -" She began to say after ripping open the door.

Reid stood there dressed in his usual slacks, dress shirt and sweater vest which annoyed her more than his unexpected appearance at her door just when she wanted to be alone.

"May I speak with you?" He asked.

"No!"

"Emily… I really need to talk to you."

"I don't want to hear it. I'm done with the preaching and the holier than thou attitude I've put with for the last couple of weeks."

"Please Emily, I don't want to talk about this on your doorstep."

"And I don't want to let you in. I'm in the middle of trying to move so please just go home."

"I came over here to tell you I'm sorry," he said, holding out both of his hands to her.

She could see that something had changed in his eyes since their last meeting at Rossi's home three nights ago. He looked like someone who'd had some kind of revelation.

"Fine… Come in, but you'll have to stand because I don't have any furniture yet."

He shut the door behind him and leaned against it. "You don't have any reason to want to listen to me and I know that's my fault. I was angry and betrayed." He spread out his hands again. "I'm still angry and betrayed -"

"I told you I don't want to hear it." Emily said from her position across the room.

Reid sighed and pushed away from the door. "I'm not here to yell at you again. I realized, thanks to some very good friends, that I'm lucky."

"How do you figure?" She asked sarcastically.

"Let's just say that I have a new perspective on what you did and how it affected me and the team. I - well all of us have a second chance. We thought -"

He stopped for a minute and just looked at her. She hadn't relaxed her stance. She stood with her back to the far wall with her arms crossed at her chest. Her dark eyes blazed at him.

"I promised the guys I'd be honest. I got a second chance with you. I believed you were dead. I never want to feel that kind of pain again Emily. The question of whether or not I can ever trust you again is somewhat moot now that you're back. All I ever wanted for weeks was to see you again. When I thought you were dead, I felt pain such as I'd never known. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted you to come back… to come back to me. You probably know I've had a huge crush on you for a long time."

He turned pink at this admission, which softened her heart more than she wanted. "I never knew." She said. "I didn't take the time to notice. I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay… It's not like girls notice me. I'm used to it."

Emily left her place leaning against the wall and crossed the room. "I never said I didn't notice you. I've always cared for you. It's just that I had so much hanging over me. I've know for a long time that as long as Doyle lived, I'd never really be free of him. It's like I was on constant alert for him to come back and when he did, I just wanted to protect you. I'm sorry I alienated you because I was too afraid to put you in danger."

She stood right in front of him, so close he could feel the heat from her reaching out to him. "It's okay… We're a family and I know you just wanted to keep us safe."

"I wanted to keep all of you safe, especially you Reid. I couldn't live if anything happened to you."

He smiled. "I know you. If anything happened to me you'd get through it. After all, I survived and you're stronger than me."

"Why don't we argue about who's the strongest later and just start over?"

Reid held out a hand. "Hi… My name is Dr. Spencer Reid."

She grinned. "It's nice to meet you Dr. Reid. I'm Emily Prentiss, but my friends call me Emily."


	21. Sacrifices

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all, here's the next chapter. Thanks to all for your support and reviews. You're the best. _**

**_Sacrifices_**

_It's strange how fast you get used to new experiences and things in your life,_ Reid thought as he came into his living room early on Sunday morning. Sergio's cat scratching pole stood in one corner of this living room next to a floor lamp. Some of his favorite toys were in a small basket next to the couch, and Sergio himself sat on the couch shedding hair all over the battered brown corduroy upholstery. It wasn't as odd to see as it had been when Sergio had first come to live with and take over Reid's life.

"Hey Serge," he greeted him unhappily.

The cat swished his tail from his perch on top on the back of the couch. His bright yellow eyes stared at Reid as the young profiler made his way across the room.

"We need to talk buddy." Sergio didn't jump down into Reid's lap so Reid picked him up and tucked the cat into his arms. "Emily came back and technically you belong to her."

Sergio eyed him with curious eyes, twisting his head in demand for Reid's long fingers to scratch his neck. He butted his head into Reid's chest when Reid didn't respond.

"I don't want to give you back, but it wouldn't be right for me to keep you. You don't belong to me."

Sergio meowed loudly, struggled out of Reid's arms and leaped down to the floor. He ran out of the living room and out of sight. Reid put his hands to his face and sat for a long time without speaking.

* * *

><p>As with all unpleasant tasks one had to perform, the time for fulfilling his had come much too quickly for Reid. A week had passed since the afternoon he'd seen Emily and helped her move into her new place. Letting go of his resentment and anger toward Emily had been difficult, but once he had, it was as if a weight had lifted off his shoulders, at least in part, because now he had to give up Sergio.<p>

He got up to pace the room. It was crazy that he'd gotten this attached to a cat. Sergio couldn't speak. He couldn't empathize, or think. On the other hand, Sergio had seemed to know that Emily wasn't dead. Reid still couldn't figure out how the cat had known that information.

He went back to the couch and sat down. He ran his hand over the surface of the upholstery. Cat hair adhered to the surface of his palm. For the first time since he'd taken possession of the cat, or rather since the first time the cat had taken possession of him, he didn't feel annoyance at cat hair on the couch, or on his clothing. He'd clean it up for the last time and then his place would return to what it was before Sergio, empty and lonely.

"Come on Spencer," he chided himself. "It's not like he's Emily come back from the dead. He's just a cat."

Said cat suddenly appeared at his feet, "It's time to go Serge." He gathered up the cat and went to find his cat carrier.

* * *

><p>Emily opened the door to her new apartment with a smile when Reid knocked ten minutes later. She almost laughed at how he was weighed down with a cat carrier and his messenger bag, plus another plastic bag.<p>

"What are you doing?"

"Can I come in?" He squeaked. "I'm sorry I didn't call first."

"Sure," she stepped back to let him in.

Sergio's irritated yowling from the carrier nearly killed the last of her self-control in not laughing at Reid. She'd forgotten that the cat hated his carrier. "I see you brought Sergio," She said unnecessarily.

"Yeah, um can I put this down somewhere?"

"Oh sure," she showed him into her living room that was in much better shape now that she'd had a chance to organize and unpack.

Reid put the cat carrier on the round coffee table that doubled as a storage place for books or magazines. He dropped his messenger bag and bent to open the door on the carrier.

"Wait Reid, I told you last week that you didn't have to bring him back. He belongs to you."

"He's your cat. You missed him."

She put a hand on his arm when he reached for the latch again. "Yeah, I missed him, but that doesn't mean I'm going to take him away from you."

His chocolate eyes reminded her very much of their time on the jet after Cyrus and his religious mania. He had the same pleading stare. Still, he opened the plastic bag he'd brought with him and began taking things out. "Here's an open box of treats. I usually give him one in the morning and one at night, although he tries to beg for more."

"Reid I-"

"Here's his favorite catnip mouse." He went on as though he didn't hear her. He removed a small colorful mouse that jingled when it moved.

"Seriously Reid I really don't -"

"Um… He likes to be scratched around the neck. You know he hates the carrier. Did you know that he likes to dance when I play the piano? I tried letting him listen to music on the radio, but he didn't like that, unless it was classical. He also likes it -"

"Spencer!"

"What?" He reared back surprised at her tone.

"I'm trying to tell you that I don't want you to give up Sergio."

"But he's your cat and I was just taking care of him because I …" He trailed off and went very red in the cheeks.

"I thought that long talk we had the other night meant that we were going to be honest with each other." She said in a low tone.

He swallowed very hard and straightened up to look her in the eyes. "After we had your funeral, I went home. I couldn't think of anything but how much I missed you. I had this feeling that I had forgotten something and then I remembered you told me about your cat. I got Garcia to help me and she said I had to take care of him. I didn't want to at first, but then it became a way to keep you alive."

He ducked his head away from her gaze. She put one hand under his chin and lifted his head. "Thank you…" She whispered.

His eyes had lost their pleading cast, but what she saw in them now suddenly sent shivers up her spine. She reached out again and took his face in her hands. He didn't speak or even breathe as she stared at him. "I don't want to take Sergio away. I can see how much he means to you."

"But he's not mine -"

"Reid!"

He blinked and raised his hands to cover her hands. Their warmth radiated into her arms and up to her head, making her a bit dizzy.

"When you love someone," She said very slowly and clearly. "You'll do anything to make them happy. Sergio makes you happy so I want you to keep him."

"Emily…"

"I mean it Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid. He's your cat now. So take him home before I change my mind."

"Really?"

The smile that lit up his face was worth any sadness she felt at giving up her pet. "It's not that big a deal. I only had him for a few weeks before all of this happened. I can get another cat."

"Are you sure because I can -"

"Shut up and accept your gift." She demanded softly.

"Thank you!" He almost shouted.

He pulled her in and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Then he pulled back as though surprised by his boldness, but she pulled him back reconnecting their mouths until she couldn't breathe.

"Wow!" She said when they split apart.

"I was going to say that." Reid said breathlessly.

"Well don't pout about it." She teased trying to remember how to stand up because her knees had turned to jelly.

An angry yowling cat brought their attention back to the room. Sergio hissed and growled at them as they laughed. "I guess I better get home and let him out of there." Reid said.

"I forgot he's kind of a drama queen." She agreed. "Why don't you let him out for awhile and stay and have dinner with me."

"I don't know Emily." He'd suddenly gotten serious again. "I'm kind of on overload at the moment."

"I'm moving everything along way too fast for you." She said, while her heart sank just a little.

"I'm sorry Emily… I can't just go from not trusting you, to understanding why you hurt us all to kissing you."

He held tight to her hand when she tried to pull away. "I just mean that it's going to take some time. I love you Emily. I have for a long time, even when I thought you were gone forever, and then when you came back and I was so mad. I still loved you. I'll always love you, but I need some time to process everything."

Her heart stopping pounding at his words, because she did understand. It was all so different for her that it might be better for them to take a step back and just learn how to be friends again.

"Why don't we have dinner as friends?" She suggested. "We can go to neutral territory instead of staying here."

He nodded, some of the wariness going out of his lovely eyes. "Why don't you follow me home? I'll leave Sergio at the apartment and then you can drive to wherever you want to eat."

"I think that's a very good plan."

She took the plastic bag when he'd repacked Sergio's stuff. "Hey… Did you say that Sergio dances?"

Reid grinned at her. "Yeah… I wasn't sure if you'd had him long enough to discover that little quirk."

She followed him to the front door snagging her purse as she went. "No… I never did figure that little talent out. Maybe you can show me sometime. I'd love to see it."

"I don't know if he'll do it on command. He's kind of a smart ass."

Sergio yowled from his carrier as they left the apartment. "You could've fooled me." Emily said.


	22. Heartbreak

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hello all... Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy and thank you all for your support_**

**_Heartbreak_**

"It's good to see you sweet cheeks." Garcia brought Reid a cup of coffee and some fresh biscotti she had bought that morning at the bakery down the street.

"Thanks Garcia… This looks great."

Sergio jumped up on the couch next to him and tried to stick his head in Reid's cup. "Get down," Garcia scolded at the same time Reid said. "Stop it."

The cat hissed at them both and jumped down from the couch. He ran out of the room in the direction of Violet's room.

"Sergio's all about the drama." Garcia commented.

"He thinks it's all about him." Reid corrected. "I'm not sure what possessed me to keep him."

"You're keeping him?" Garcia joined him on the other end of the couch, tucking her legs up under her bright pink skirt.

"Yeah… Emily said I should keep him because he was used to me." Reid said.

Garcia narrowed her eyes at him over her cup of tea. "Are you sure that's why she let you keep him?"

Reid looked around the room, which reflected the kind of look she had in her apartment. He liked the bright colors and knick-knacks. He recognized the art she liked and the general tidiness of the room. What he didn't see was her super eight projector. He wondered why she didn't have it set up. "Where's your projector?" He wondered.

"Don't change the subject," She scolded after taking a sip of her tea. "I want to know what happened with Emily. JJ told me that you'd talked to her, but she doesn't know the details."

"I'm not telling you." He squeaked.

Garcia studied him for a long minute. "Oh I know what happened. You two finally said the L word."

He flushed scarlet and denied it vehemently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Garcia put her cup and saucer on the end table and crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't fool me Reid. I know you're in love with her."

"Garcia!"

"Don't worry baby cakes. I won't tell anyone."

He shifted around in his seat to stare at the wall instead of looking Garcia in the eye. "I'm just getting back to learning how to trust everyone again. I'm not in love with her."

"You can deny it all you want, but I know better. Emily loves you too… Otherwise, she wouldn't have given up Sergio. She wants you to be happy. Just accept it. I want you to be happy. If that's what Emily's gives you, then I'm all for it."

"I don't think its right to talk about this with you." He blurted out.

"I'm your best friend. You know you can trust me."

Her dark eyes behind red framed glasses sparkled at him. It was great to see her happy again. He hoped that it would last for her.

"I do trust you. I just don't want to talk about it."

She nodded. "Alright sweet thing, I understand. What should we talk about?"

"How's Violet been doing?" He asked taking another bite of the delicious chocolate covered biscotti cookie.

"She's been kind of down lately. I think she's just trying to get over the loss of her mother. She loved that woman far more than she deserved in my opinion. It's not my place to talk about her that way."

He nodded. "I wish things could be different for her, but I'm glad she has you and the team."

Garcia stood up and collected their cups. "She has you too Reid. You're her friend. You're the one that took Sergio to see her when she didn't have anyone else to visit her in the hospital. You introduced us and I'll be forever grateful to you for that because I love her like my own. She fills something in me that I didn't know was missing."

"I'm glad," he said sincerely. "You're good for each other."

* * *

><p>Violet sat at her desk trying to write a paper for World History class. They were studying the Cold War right now and she had to write an essay about the fall of the Berlin Wall. It wasn't her favorite class, but some of it was kind of interesting.<p>

Something brushed by her leg and she jumped a little yanking her headphones off her head. She looked down to see Sergio sitting there staring up at her with his bright yellow eyes. "Hey Sergio… What are you doing here?"

Her heart started thumping so hard she got dizzy and light headed. _If Sergio were here then that meant that Spencer must be here too_.

She jumped up and hurried to her closet. She stripped off her blue skirt and the red blouse she'd worn to school and began pulling on her favorite purple tank top, a darker purple shirt she left open and a pair of brand new jeans that had been faded before the store sold them. She ran her hand through her black hair, and checked the light pink lip-gloss Penelope let her wear with some mascara.

Sergio meowed at her and jumped up on her desk. "I'm sorry kitty. I don't have time to sit and pet you. I want to see Spencer." She said excitedly.

The cat narrowed its eyes at her and jumped back down to the floor. "Come on… I'll take you back out and then I'll have an excuse to say hello."

She picked up the cat and nervously stroked his head while she looked at herself in the mirror. Was her hair sticking up too much? Her friend Marcie liked her haircut. She said it was tres chic. Marcie liked to use French words. She thought it was the hot thing to do. Violet thought it was kind of stupid, but she never told Marcie.

"Let's go Sergio."

She opened the door to her room and walked down the hall. She could hear Penelope talking to Spencer. So he was in there. She clutched Sergio hard to her chest, ignoring how the cat inserted his claws into her shirt.

"Oh, I know what happened." She heard Penelope say. "You two finally said the L word."

The L word? What did Penelope mean by that?" Violet wondered.

Then she heard Penelope trying to get Spencer to admit that he was in love with Emily. How could he be in love with that other agent? She hurt him by making them think she was dead. How could he forgive her for that?

She let Sergio jump out of her arms. Tears filled her eyes and dropped down onto the light brown carpet in the hallway. All of her dreams were ruined because of that Emily. She turned and ran back into her room. It wasn't fair. Now she'd never get a chance to grow up and make Spencer like her.

* * *

><p>Sergio jumped up into Reid's lap as Penelope went down the hallway to see if Violet wanted to come out and say hello to Reid. They had become good friends since she'd been in the hospital. It was kind of amusing and sweet that Reid had struck up an unlikely friendship with a teenage girl, when he had so much trouble admitting his feelings for Emily.<p>

"Violet," she tapped on the closed door to the teen's room.

"Go away!"

She sounded like she was crying which wasn't unusual but Garcia had thought she was getting used to the loss of her mother. If not, then maybe she should have Reid leave so she could talk to her. She went back to the living room.

"Sweet cheeks… Do you mind if we cut this short? Violet's upset and I want to talk to her. She's crying in her room."

"Oh…" His chocolate eyes went huge. "Should I do something?"

"No. I'll call you later."

"Um… tell her I said hello. Don't worry because I read a study they did two years ago. Teenage girls that face trauma at Violet's age recover very quickly. My professor said that it was important to -"

Garcia reached out and put a hand over his mouth. "I get it my gorgeous genius. Now get out of here. I'll see you tomorrow.

When Reid was gone with Sergio, she went back to Violet's room. "Honey… Can I come in?"

Violet didn't answer so Garcia opened the door enough to see the teen lying on her bed and crying.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"Go away."

"Talk to me." Garcia entered the room and sat down on the bed next to Violet. "Hey… I thought we agreed we could tell each other anything."

Violet jumped into Garcia's startled arms. "You'll laugh at me." She sobbed.

"I'd never laugh at you Violet. I love you. I want to help you."

Violet sniffed, and rubbed at her light blue eyes that were red and puffy from crying. "It's totally embarrassing. You're gonna be mad at me."

"I won't be mad." Garcia promised. She stroked her hand over Violet's black hair. "Remember the deal we made. If you're honest with me, I'll always listen okay."

Violet nodded and wiped at her eyes. "I sort of heard you talking to Sp - I mean Dr. Reid. I was coming out to say hello and I heard you talking about Em - I mean Agent Prentiss."

"Why didn't you come out and say hello. I'm sure Reid would've loved to see you."

Violet began picking at the purple bedspread patterned with white and silver circles. She wouldn't look up at Garcia. "I don't understand why everyone's so nice to her. She did a mean thing to you guys."

Garcia squeezed her hand and sighed. "We're still mad at her, but you have to forgive at some point because that's what friends do. She had a very bad man chasing her. He would have hurt us if she hadn't made him think she was dead. Now he's gone and everyone is safe. It's not going to be easy but we all want out friends back because we love each other."

Big tears ran down Violet's face. "Does Spencer love Emily? I heard you say he did."

Sudden understanding made Garcia's heart beat fast. This wasn't what she'd expected in any way. "Do you like Reid?" Garcia asked gently.

"Yeah… He was really nice to me and -"

"I mean, you have a crush on him, right?"

Violet pulled out of Garcia's arms and buried her face in her bedspread.

"It's okay… When I was thirteen, I had the biggest crush on the guy that used to work at the grocery store down the street. He was twenty-three and he had a wife. I was so mad at her because I thought I was in love with him. My mother figured it out and she was so cool about it. She knew how much it hurt because something similar happened to her when she was a teenager. Every young girl goes through it at some time. It just means that you're growing up. I don't think it's funny at all."

Violet hugged her again as hard as she could. "I don't like Emily" She cried.

"I know baby… I'm sorry you have to hurt this way. Spencer does care about you."

She let go of Violet so she could look at her face. "I'm sorry honey. I promise it'll get better."

Violet nodded. "I'm never gonna like another guy ever again." She declared. "I'll only like Spencer even if he marries Agent Prentiss." She sighed.

"I know you will… Did you know Reid asked about you? He had to go home, but he'll be back because he's keeping Sergio so we'll keep looking after him when Reid is away. Did you hear us talking about it?"

"No… I ran back to my room." Violet's eyes lit up. "He is… I thought you said that Spencer was going to give him back."

"No, Emily made him keep Sergio. You see, when you really love someone, you'll do anything to make that person happy. Emily knew that my baby cakes love Sergio so she gave him up to make him happy."

Violet brushed her hand over her eyes again. "So you mean that Emily loves him?"

"Yes…"

Violet got up and went to her mirror. She pulled a Kleenex from the box on her desk and wiped at her mascara. Garcia joined her at the mirror. "Honey… You're not going to feel better about it overnight and that's okay. You can be his friend. We all need friends and so does Reid. Can you do that?"

Violet looked at Garcia in the mirror with a sad little smile. She drew in a big breath and hunched up her shoulders. "Yeah… I guess that's okay. You won't tell him, will you?" She asked anxiously.

"It's our secret." Garcia hugged her hard. "Why don't we go for a drive to the park? It's great weather out."

"Can we have a picnic?"

"Yes… We can have a picnic. Let's go."


	23. Epilogue

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n here's the last chapter my friends. Thank you all for you wonderful support. Thanks to my fantastic beta for all her help and contribution to this story. Please enjoy_**

**_Epilogue_**

Reid finished his first run through, as he called it, of a new song on his keyboard. His head hurt that day but the music seemed to help a little. It was the first headache he'd had in the month that had passed since he'd helped Emily move into her apartment.

Sergio sat on the bench next to him swishing his tail. "Why haven't you danced since the night you revealed that little quirk?" Reid asked.

Sergio only stared up at him with bright yellow eyes that refused to reveal their secrets.

"Fine, if you want to be a smart ass. You should behave because Emily is coming over to see us today."

Sergio jumped off the bench and ran to the couch. He leapt up onto the couch and climbed up onto the back. He lay down and twitched his tail.

"I told you to stay down off the couch. I just cleaned your hair off it." Reid scolded.

Sergio ignored him and went to sleep.

"Maybe I'll change my mind about keeping you. Perhaps I'll give you away to a total stranger. I'm sure_ they_ wouldn't put up with you shedding all over the furniture."

Sergio didn't acknowledge him in anyway.

Reid shook his head and went back to his music. _Why did he persist in thinking that he could reason with a cat?_ He was about halfway through the 30 minutes a day he allowed himself for practice when someone knocked on the door.

Sergio jumped down from the couch and ran to the door. Reid followed him at a less hurried pace. "Why are you so eager to see who's at the door?"

He opened it to find that Emily stood on the other side. "I thought you weren't coming for a couple of hours." He said.

"Aren't you going to let me in?" She demanded cheerfully.

"Oh right… Um, come on in."He stepped back to let her in. "I'd invite you to sit down, but Sergio's covered every available place to sit with cat hair."

She grinned and picked up Sergio who was weaving between her legs and meowing. "I missed you." She said stroking the cat's head.

"Are you sure you don't want him back."

"I don't want this little monster back." She said with affection as Sergio began to purr under her fingers. "I told you he belongs to you. That's how I want it, okay?"

Reid nodded his understanding. "Thanks…"

"Don't thank me. You'll be sorry the first time he wakes you up by sitting on your chest."

Reid smiled wryly. "He's already pulled that stunt on me."

Emily scratched under Sergio's chin. "Have you been a bad kitty, huh?"

Sergio was too busy purring with his eyes closed to respond.

"He's a smart ass." Reid said proudly.

"Then I think he's perfect for you."

"Hey!"

She leaned in and kissed him soundly on the mouth. He reached his hands into her hair and pulled her close when she tried to break away. Sergio yowled after a minute and Reid finally let Emily go. "Sorry," he said to the cat. "I guess we smashed you."

Sergio struggled out of Emily's arms and jumped to the carpeted floor. He hissed and ran out of the room.

"He's going to make you pay for that." Emily informed him.

"I'll survive."

"I wanted to come see you because I've decided to adopt another cat and I wondered if you wanted to go help me pick it out."

Confusion filled his eyes. "Why?"

"Well… I thought you'd have a good idea of what kind of cat might get along well with Sergio. That is, if you think we're on the road to being okay."

He nodded. "I think we're okay."

"Good… I want to spend a lot more time with you, if that's okay."

"It's more than okay." Reid said.

"I'm glad because I learned something very important while I was trying to get Doyle."

"What did you learn?"

"That life is precious and I don't want to lose another day with you."

"Really?" Reid squeaked.

"Yes… Even if I have to spend the rest of my life making the last months up to you. I'm willing to do that."

Sergio suddenly ran back into the room. He jumped up and put his paws on Reid's leg meowing loudly. "I think he agrees with me." Emily smirked.

"Since when do you make your decision based on the dubious opinion of a smart ass cat?"

"He may be a major pain in the ass, but he's the smartest cat I know."

'How do you figure that?"

"He brought us together didn't he?"

Reid bent down and picked up the cat. "Well it seems like I'm going to help Emily find a new friend for you. What do you think about that?"

Sergio meowed and tapped Reid on the chin with his left front paw.

"I'll take that as a yes." Reid said. "Let's go find a cat for you, I mean for Emily," He corrected with a laugh.

Sergio almost seemed to smile.

"Maybe we should take him to help us." Reid observed.

"Let's not get carried away." Emily advised. "I don't think we need his help."

Sergio hissed at her and jumped to the floor. He stalked over to the couch and leapt up to lay on the back.

"You ever get feeling that Sergio understands everything we say."

She expected Reid to laugh at her, but he didn't instead he just looked at her. "Sometimes I do, even though it's utterly ridiculous. Cat's don't have human intelligence."

"I certainly hope not, because if he did, then I feel like I should be the one eating out of a bowl on the floor and sleeping next to the couch."

Reid laughed. "Now that would be a sight."

She smacked him on the arm. "Watch it buddy."

"Sorry," he didn't sound at all sorry.

She kissed him anyway. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Why not? I can't wait to see what kind of cat you pick this time."

They left, locking the door behind them. Sergio jumped down and ran into Reid's room where he curled up in the middle of the bed. If Reid were there, he'd swear the cat was smiling and thinking "Another job well done." Sergio tucked his front paws under his chest and slept the peace of matchmaker cats.

**_THE END_**


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